A Heavy Burden
by SebbyPoo123
Summary: After Bakugo is rescued from the villains he is forced to see the school counselor. Will he be able to open up about everything that happened? What about when a particular red head just wont seem to stay out of it? (KIRIBAKU)
1. Chapter 1: Truth or Dare?

**CHAPTER 1: TRUTH OR DARE?**

"So, Katsuki Bakugo, why are you here today?"

Bakugo looked away from the woman in front of him with a scowl on his face. She knew damn well why he was here. Hell, if it were up to him at all he'd be as far away from this _damn_ room as he could be. Out the window behind her he can see everyone else leaving UA to head back to the dorms. A head of red hair stood out to him particularly.

"Because I have to be" He says through a clenched jaw, still refusing to look at her. He couldn't help but feel humiliated being forced to sit through this.

"That's true, but why do you have to be?"

Bakugo couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. Here we go, he thought, some stupid shrink bullshit trying to make him dig deep.

The woman began writing in the notebook on her lap after a minute with no response. The sudden movement made Bakugo glance back at her.

"You know Bakugo, since you _have_ to be here you might want to think about what you can get out of it. All we want to do is make sure you're doing okay after the series of events you went through. At the end of the day you get to decide how you come out of this. Whether you let this make you stronger, or if you let it break you. All we want is to be able to help you become the best hero you can be."

Bakugo could feel his heart beat hard and fast against his chest "I don't need _anyone's_ help" He practically growled. Bakugo tried to calm himself down, it was a well known fact that he was a hot head but if he blew up, maybe even _literally_ , in front a shrink they might just go ahead and try to diagnose him with anger issues. The last thing he needed was to give them a reason to make him come back more times then he's already being forced to.

After taking a deep breathe through his nose he continued, "Five weeks, that's all I have to do, just five Friday's. So what could I possibly actually get out of this?"

The woman smiled a little at that. Bakugo couldn't deny that she was pretty. She had long blonde hair that rested on her shoulders in waves, a thin face with big blue eyes. He honestly couldn't remember her name, he couldn't even remember her telling him what it was. But he didn't trust strangers let alone shrinks. How people could just blindly open up to a stranger was beyond him. Hell, he wouldn't even open up to friends… that is if he really had any.

"Think about how much you can learn in a day at school. The five hours we get to spend together is a little like that. And yes, it probably won't be anything monumental but if we work together you might get to learn more about yourself than you think you can." She said with a smile still on her face.

" _Tch"_ Bakugo felt annoyed. "Fine, but only because it'd be even more excruciating to sit here for an hour and just stare at each other. But i will _not_ talk about anything that I don't want to." Crossing his arms over his chest he slumped even further into the seat.

"I couldn't ask you to anyway" Flipping a page in her notebook and clicking her pen twice she began asking questions "There are some preliminary questions I have to ask you, and that's really all we have to talk about today. So, to start I'd like to know how you're feeling today?"

"I feel fine, annoyed mostly."

"How have you been feeling over the past three weeks?"

Bakugo hesitated. Had it really been three weeks since the villain attack? Three weeks since he'd been rescued? Three weeks since he moved into the dorms with everyone else?

"Fine" He could hear his voice break a little. He hoped the shrink wouldn't hear it too. He didn't want her to look into that too much. Because he had been fine. At least as fine as he imagined he could be.

"How well do you sleep?"

Hesitating again Bakugo thought back to just last night. He could hardly get his eyes to close for more than two hours before he woke up sweating and shaking. Just like he had every night since he's been here.

"Fine."

"Would you say you have a healthy relationship with food?"

This one caused Bakugo to snort out a laugh "Yeah I'm absolutely fine with food"

Most of the questions carried on like this, just trying to get a baseline of where to start with Bakugos treatment. He mostly answered quick and short. He felt no need to delve any deeper he just wanted to get out of here and go back to his quiet peaceful dorm. Only did the last question really make him think.

"Do you have many friends here? Anyone else to talk to?"

Bakugo didn't really want to tell her he didn't. He wasn't ashamed or anything like that. He liked to think of himself as a lone wolf. He didn't _need_ anyone else in his life. He was strong he could take care of himself and didn't need anyone else holding him back. He did have Kirishima and he was definitely the closest thing he had to a real friend but he mostly just helped him with his homework. He wouldn't really call them best friends or anything like that. But he did however worry about giving her any reason to add more than five weeks of this. Everything had to be carefully calculated to make sure this was as painless as possible.

"Yeah of course." He said with confidence.

"Well that's good. During hard times like this its good to have a support system."

Bakugo didn't doubt that it was true. He'd never admit this to anyone not even himself, but it would be nice if he could have a least someone to share a little of this burden with. It was a heavy thing to carry by yourself. Maybe that's what he'd get out of this. Just a little tiny sliver of weight lifted off his shoulders. He could live with that.

Bakugo left the counselor's office feeling pretty damn exhausted. He could fight all day but the minute he has to sit down and talk it feels like his soul has been sucked out of his body. As he made the quick trek over to the dorms he prayed everyone would just ignore him and let him walk up to his room with no interuptions. He was ready for the weekend. He could go to bed early tonight, wake up early, go for a run, do some homework. He wouldn't have to think about stupid _therapy_ until next Friday. Now he could just enjoy his night.

Thankfully when he entered the building only damn Deku and Uraraka were in the common space and Deku wouldn't dare talk to Bakugo. Especially with the frown he was sporting. He shot daggers their way, squinted red eyes telling them not to even try it just in case.

He got to his room quickly, entered, and slammed the door behind him. Practically dragging his legs he made his way over to his bed and collapsed onto it. He could hear the door next to his open and close and he knew what that meant. Shitty hair was about to knock. And that's the last thing he needed right now. That annoying hair for brains coming over with some stupid request or question. Bakugo was already pulling himself up to a seated position before the knock even came. And when it did he couldn't help but sigh.

"Hey, uh, it's me" Kirishima said quietly.

Bakugo couldn't imagine why he would bother practically whispering after knocking so damn loud. He felt his face scrunch up in a scowl.

"What?" He barked.

"Can I open the door?" Kirishima asked a little louder.

A groan escaped Bakugos mouth "Fine!"

Kirishima opened the door and popped his head in with a big smile on his face.

"Hey! I looked for you when we were done today but didn't see you anywhere. Where did you disappear too?" He asked as he strolled over to Bakugos bed. He lingered next to it clearly not sure if he would be allowed to sit.

Bakugo rolled his eyes. "No where shitty hair. What do you want?" there was less bite behind the bark today. He just didn't have anymore energy to put up a fight. He just really wanted to go to sleep.

Kirishima shifted awkwardly "I hate to ask so often… but could you help me with some math homework again? I'm just really struggling and I-"

Bakugo waved a hand cutting him off "That's fine," He said letting out a sigh "I have to work on mine too."

Kirishima's face lit up and he smiled so big Bakugo could've sworn he could count all of Kirishima's pointy teeth.

"Do you wanna come over to my room? I have my homework set up over there already and I have some snacks." Kirishima was already walking back over to the door so without a word Bakugo grabbed his bag that held his homework and followed behind.

It really was very convenient to dorm right next to the only person Bakugo could actually stand for extended periods of time. It wasn't so much that he _likes_ hanging out with Kirishima but he didn't make Bakugo feel murderous and that was definitely something.

He walked into Kirishima's dorm room and sat down on the floor. There was already a mess of papers strewn all over the place and Bakugo couldn't help but smile at that. It's pretty amusing just how much of a mess Kirishima can be when it comes to school work.  
Kirishima plopped down across from Bakugo. "This is what I'm having a hard time with" He says as he hands the textbook over to show which equations he can't do. Bakugo nodded slowly

"Those are easy start working and tell me when you get stuck."

"I don't even know where to start" Kirishima said with a sheepish smile to which Bakugo could only roll his eyes.

"Alright look.." And Bakugo began to explain how to exactly go about the problems.

After about 45 minutes of lots of sighing and frustration Kirishima started to seem like he was really starting to get it. Bakugo was able to finish all of his homework, using the time Kirishima would take to finish one problem to tackle as many as he could. Now he sat leaned back against Kirishima's bed watching him chew his pencil with those sharp teeth as he worked. Bakugo couldn't help but wonder how he hadn't managed to snap the pencil in half yet.

Kirishima grabbed his phone which had just vibrated. Bakugo jumped, he hadn't realized how still the room had watched Kirishima carefully as he looked at his phone, he had an uneasy feeling and the way Kirishima looked up at him made him sure he had every right to.

"Yo, Sero just texted me saying Kaminari snuck some beer into the dorm he just asked if we wanna come hang out." He had such an excited look on his face Bakugo could have gagged. The last thing he would want to do is hang out with all the extras at this school. Let alone get drunk with them.

"No thanks I don't do that."

"Have fun?" Kirishima asked with a laugh

"Drink." Bakugo dead panned.

"What? For real? Why?" Kirishima blinked at him

Bakugo shrugged "Why would I want to do something so reckless that could damage my future career as a hero? Not to mention it's not pleasant feeling like you aren't in control of yourself shitty hair." He had to throw the insult in. He felt like he was being too vulnerable. What did that shrink do to him today to make him feel like he can open up at all?

"Ah come on man! It'll be fun! It'll be good to do something so normal after…" Kirishima looked nervous like he was about to say the wrong thing "all the stress lately"

Bakugo rolled his eyes, a common theme of today. He was tired of people acting so nervous around him when it came to the villian attack.

"Did they even actually invite me?" Bakugo doubted it. Everyone acted like he was a villain himself there's no way they would want him to come hang out. His chest tightened at the thought. He was tired of people thinking that way.

"Well they didn't say your name but they said everyone's invited and you're apart of that!"

Kirishima always seemed genuinely blind to the fact that everyone else didn't want him around.

"Please Bakugo just come for a little and if you hate it you can just leave I mean we're not even leaving the building!" Kirishima looked at Bakugo with such genuine hope that he'd say yes he couldn't help but cave.

He felt his shoulders slump forward. "Fine. But if I'm bored I'm leaving immediately."

Kirishima threw a fist in the air "Alright! Man you wont regret it I know you'll have fun!"

"But I'm still not drinking."

"Whatever, more for me!"

A couple hours later Bakugo glanced at his phone. It was almost 9:30pm and he still hadn't gotten a text from Kirishima. After they finished working on homework Bakugo came back to his room and took a quick nap. He even set an alarm so he wouldn't just end up sleeping through the party, if you could even call it that, straight to the next day. He tapped his foot anxiously. Why did he even care if Kirishima texted him or not? If he ended up not going it would be better, right? Then he wouldn't have to spend time with all those losers, right?

But a part of him did want to go. A part of himself he didn't like very much really wanted to get that text from Kirishima. But it wasn't a text he got. Instead it was a faint knock on his door, so soft he almost didn't hear it. He got up and wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. Why were his hands sweating? He walked over to the door and cracked it open a little to see who was on the other side. Kirishima was standing there with a mischievous smile on his face.

"Are you ready to go?" He whispered. Bakugo nodded in response and stepped out into the hallway.

"We have to be really quiet we don't wanna wake up anyone, especially Iida"

"Well we probably shouldn't be hanging out in Kaminari's room. They're right next to each other." Bakugo walked in stride next to Kirishima

"I know were going up to sero's room."

They were right outside the stairs now and Kirishima quietly pushed open the double doors. They stopped and listened and they could hear soft footsteps above them. They held their breath and waited until they heard nothing. After waiting a few seconds more to make sure whoever that was is actually gone they quickly tiptoed up to the fifth floor.

Outside of Sero's door he could hear a bunch of voices. Bakugo couldn't help but groan. Why had he even agreed to come? He already wanted to leave.

"Come on man, at least give it a chance." Kirishima said as he knocked.

All the voices inside immediately went silent. Sero opened the door just a sliver to reveal Kirishima and Bakugou. With a smile on his face he swung it open to let the two enter. Everyone else was sitting on the floor already drinking. Sero closed the door behind them.

"Go ahead and grab yourselves some beers. We can't be too loud just in case Todoroki hears and gets mad."

Bakugo remembered that that Icy-hot fucker lived next to Sero. He doubted Todoroki would even do anything. That idiot was always so emotionless he doubted he would even care if they were loud.

Bakugo watched as Kirishima walked over to a box on the floor. He pulled out two beers and sat on the floor next to the pink girl. He gestured for Bakugo to come and sit next to him, and he did so reluctantly.

"Here." Kirishima went to hand Bakugo one of the beers he grabbed

" _Tch"_ Bakugo shoved it away "I told you I wasn't drinking." He narrowed his eyes as Kirishima smiled with guilt on his face. He even looked like he was blushing a little. The sight made Bakugos stomach twist.

What the fuck?

" I just thought I'd get you one in case you change your mind."

Bakugo grabbed the drink out of Kirishima's hand and put it on the floor. He wasn't going to drink it but he didn't want to look at Kirishima anymore.

"Do you guys wanna play a drinking game!" The pink girl said. She looked really excited about the idea but Bakugo thought that sounded pretty lame. They didn't even have enough beer for all of them to get drunk.

"Like what?" Kaminari asked "We don't have a deck of cards or anything really"

"We could just play truth or dare and incorporate drinking"

"If someone refuses to tell the truth or do the dare they could have to chug for 30 seconds." That short perv interjected

"Yeah! And of course you can dare people to drink"

Sero nodded his head "Sounds fun let's do it"

Bakugo didn't plan on doing anything but before he knew it they had all sat on the floor in a circle with him and Kirishima.

"I'm not playing."

"Aw come on!" Kirishima moaned "That's not very manly of you."

Bakugo felt his face scrunch up in anger. He wasn't afraid of a little game. He would just only do dares.

"Fine" He growled

"I want to start!" Pinky said raising her hand "Sero, truth or dare?"

"Dare?" Sero said more like a question than a statement. You could tell he was nervous what she would make him do. A mischievous smile was plastered on her face.

"I dare you to tape Bakugo to the ceiling."

Bakugo immediately put his hand up about to send an explosion his way "I will kill you"

Sero audibly gulped and grabbed his beer "I'm just gonna drink " He said with a nervous chuckle.

The girl looked smug, like that was the exact outcome she not only expected but hoped for. Bakugo didn't like being used as the villain again. Someone to be afraid of. He could feel anger swell in his chest. Before he could do anything about it he felt a hand on his shoulder. He glanced back to see a smiling Kirishima.

"Cool it Blasty if you blow up seros room we'll all get caught."

Bakugo turned away but leaned back and dropped his hand.

"Alright" Sero said "Kaminari, truth or dare?"

"Truth!"

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Kaminari smiled awkwardly glancing sideways really quick. Bakugo followed his eyes over to the punk girl sitting next to pinky. She was playing with the label on her drink.

"Yeah…" He said slowly.

"What!? Who?" Pervy demanded

"Hey I answered my truth and now it's my turn! Kirishima! Truth or dare?"

Bakugo rolled his eyes. This really was lame. Everyone would probably be too scared to pick him anyway.

"Truth" He said with confidence.

"Do you think anyone in our class is hot?"

Bakugos eyes went wide when Kirishima's face turned almost as red as his hair. Even his ears were a striking red.

Without even answering Kirishima picked up the beer in front of him and chugged.

"That's not very manly!" Kaminari quipped "Dodging a question like that!"

Kirishima set down his beer. Face still red he let out a nervous chuckle. He turned to look at Bakugo and when their eyes met he quickly looked away.

"Bakugo, truth or dare?"

Bakugo blinked at him, actually surprised he picked him. Well, not that surprised it was Kirishima who made him play after all.

"Dare."

Kirishima smiled. Maybe because he was excited that Bakugo didn't just say no.

"I dare you to drink."

Bakugo frowned "Are you kidding I literally told you three times I wasn't going to."

"Well either drink for your dare, or drink because you're a chicken those are the rules" Sero stated matter-of-fact like.

Bakugo glared at Kirishima "Fine." He grabbed the beer and with a clenched jaw cracked it open. He took a sip. He never understood why people liked this it tasted disgusting.

"Not just a sip!" Kirishima said when Bakugo pulled the can back

"Too bad, you weren't more specific I'm just taking a sip."

"Alright… now it's your turn to pick someone."

"I know that" He snapped. This is the part he really didn't want to be a part of. He didn't even know most of their names. "Uh, Pikachu, truth or dare?"

Kaminari gave him a look "Dude do you really not know my name?" Bakugo shrugged. He did know his name at least but he wouldn't give the bastard the pleasure of knowing that.

"Dare" Kaminari said rolling his eyes.

"I dare you to electrocute Kirishima" Bakugo dead panned. He could see Kirishima's head snap out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't make out the expression he was making.

"What! I can't do that!" Kaminari practically yelled causing Sero and pinky to shush him.

"Nah it's fina man! I'll just make my body hard" Kirishima said while activating his quirk. Kaminari looked relieved he went over and sent a few shocks through him. Kirishima said he still felt it and it was weird but it didn't hurt.

Once he was sitting back down he leaned over to whisper in Bakugos ear "Payback, huh?" It sent shivers down Bakugos spine.

"You deserved it." Bakugo mumbled.

He heard Kirishima laugh quietly.

The rest of the night pretty much carried on like that. No one else picked Bakugo, probably afraid he would use Kaminari to electrocute them too and not everyone could make their body hard as a rock. Kirishima however seemed to be everyone's target. It didn't take very long for the group to realize Kirishima is a fucking light weight and he ended up drinking the most out of anyone. Eventually everyone decided to call it a night they entrusted Bakugo to get Kirishima back to his room. The fucker could hardly stand on his own two feet. Bakugo really didn't sign up for this when he agreed to come but what was he supposed to do?

Getting Kirishima out the door of Sero's room was hard enough he was dreading the stairs. While thinking of how horribly this will probably go he was surprised to hear talking. He looked towards where the sound was coming from to find Todoroki's door open just a crack. He recognized the voice. Small and incredibly annoying he realized it was damn Deku. He couldn't understand what they were saying and before he had a chance to leave with Kirishima Deku stepped out into the hallway.

Deku's face drained of all its color. He looked absolutely mortified.

"Ka-Kacchan?" Deku whispered. He started waving his hands around "I was just- we were- I don't" Bakugo cut him off.

"I don't care."

Bakugo bent down slid one arm under Kirishima's legs, and the other around his back and picked him. It would be much easier to get him down the stairs this way. Bakugo strolled past Deku, who hadn't made any attempt to leave Todoroki's doorway, and headed for the stairwell. Taking the same caution as before he listened to make sure it was empty. Once he was sure he carefully carried Kirishima down. Kirishima was resting his head against Bakugos shoulder and clutching onto his shirt. He looked really peaceful with his eyes closed. Almost like he was sleeping. Bakugo couldn't fight the small smile that crept it's way onto his face.

BAkugo finally got Kirishima to his room after hitting his head on the doorway, twice. Kirishima now had his eyes open but didn't seem too upset about his current situation. He probably knew he couldn't have walked there on his own so Bakugo had to carry him.

Bakugo walked over to the bed, not aware that Kirishima was very much awake right now, and tried to carefully lay him down on his mattress. Kirishima still had Bakugos shirt held tight in his fist and while bakugo tried to be carefull the unexpected weight pull on the front of his shirt caused him to fall forward right onto Kirishima.

"Shit! Let go idiot!" Bakugo said trying to untangle himself from Kirishima.

But he didn't give up so easily. Instead he snaked his arms around Bakugos neck pulling him just a little bit closer. Bakugo could feel his hot breath touch his face and Bakugos stomach did a flip.

"Thank you for getting me back" Kirishima whispered mere inches from Bakugo "If you want you can stay over"

Bakugo realized he was still right on top of Kirishima and quickly sat up pulling Kirishima's arms off his neck. He tried to ignore the heat in his face and looked away.

"Why would I do that, idiot. I live right next door"

"It could be fun!" Kirishima said with a bright smile

Bakugo got up and walked to the door. He paused a second and listened to his heart beat hard in his ears.

"Goodnight Bakugo" Kirishima slurred. It sounded like sleep was already taking over him.

With that Bakugo left his room walked straight into his and shut the door. He walked over to his bed and threw himself onto it. He placed his hand to chest feeling the rapid pounding and whispered aloud to himself.

"What the fuck?"

 **AN**

Hoped you liked the new fic! I honestly don't know exactly what I want to do with this yet, a part of me thinks I should just leave it as a one shot (because I don't know if I'm ready to invest in a long fic again), and another part of me is like ten chapters minimum. All I know for sure is I had an idea in the shower (the place of all great ideas) and couldn't stop thinking about it for days and now here I am writing it. I _want_ to write more (The story is based around the therapy (At least that's the idea now) so it really needs more to be the actual story I'm trying to tell) so if you guys read it and like it and want me to write more please let me know! Comments, reviews they give me life! And if we're being honest I've already started the second chapter it just might never see the light of day! I really hope you did like it! I feel like I'm crawling out of the shadows after years of hiding from this website so bare with my shaken confidence!


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2: DOMESTIC**

Bakugo couldn't sleep. Not that he had been getting much sleep the past couple of weeks, but last night he didn't even close his eyes once. He thought the nightmares were bad, but this? This was _excruciating_. Bakugo couldn't stop thinking about last night. No matter how hard he tried.

He wasn't exactly sure what it was but something about last night made his chest feel heavy and made butterflies fly around his stomach. He couldn't place what was making him feel… nervous? What the hell even makes Bakugou nervous?

The memory of Kirishima's heavy eyelids and hot breath as he whispered "If you want you can stay over" flashed through his mind sending shivers throughout him.

What the actual fuck was going on?

Okay, okay, It's not like Bakugou didn't have _an idea_ of what was going on it was just really really _really_ dumb and made no sense whatsoever. So he didn't think it. Didn't say it. Didn't acknowledge it.

Bakugo picked up his phone to check the time. 7:00 am. He had watched the sun rise a few hours ago and couldn't find the will to get up. His plans for going on a morning jog flew right out the window with his ability to fucking sleep. But now he could at least go make some breakfast. He was sure he'd crash later, it was always easier to sleep in the middle of the day with all that sunlight around him.

He sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed. His back hurt and his head ached, his body was really starting to complain about the lack of care it was getting but things really had just been hard lately. Everything made him jump, everyone treated him like he was either a traumatized child or a monstrous villain, and he couldn't even blame them. How could he deny either of those claims when he's been a loud, rude, and down right mean, ass since, well, forever, and since the incident he really had to admit he was a little more sensitive. If that's even the right word. He just couldn't help but fidget. Always glancing out of the corner of his eye, always on guard, and not to mention the growing bags under his eyes calling everyone's attention.

Getting off the bed he dragged himself over to the bathroom connected to his room. Inspecting said bags in the mirror he looked a lot worse today. He was really pale, and the purple rings under his eyes stood out in stark contrast. There was nothing he could do about it, but pray for a nap later that day, so he brushed his teeth, fixed his hair and headed back into his room. Slipping on a pair of black sweatpants and a black t-shirt with a white skull printed on it, he headed out into the hallway.

He took the elevator down not feeling quite up for the stairs. He needed to get some fucking sleep for sure, he could not be this drained come monday. How was he supposed to do hero training if he couldn't even will himself to take the stairs?

Once on the first floor he took a minute to examine who was here. To his relief only icy hot and that guy who's always chopping the air were down here. He could assume Kirishima would be in bed for a while with a hangover. Maybe even the others too but he really wasn't sure how much they all drank. He was feeling really greatful right about now that he doesn't like drinking, he couldn't imagine feeling how he does _and_ being hungover.

Bakugo walks into the kitchen past Todoroki who is sitting at the table eating. He decides to make an American style breakfast. All scrambled eggs and toast and he makes two plates. If Kirishima is hungover he'll probably need some food to put into his body. Bakugo grabs the two plates heads back over to the elevator and carefully nudges the button with his elbow. He can't wait to eat his food as the elevator fills with the smell. He makes a mental note to get some midnight snacks for his inevitable long nights ahead. He'd been listening to his stomach growl for hours.

With his hands full he kicked Kirishima's door instead of knocking. He tried not to be too loud incase Kirishima had a headache but he was worried he didn't hear him so he kicked again just a little harder. He could hear rustling behind the door and was relieved to see a very tired looking Kirishima in pajamas once it opened.

"Hey, sorry to wake you up but I figured you'd need some breakfast" He said with a face that didn't look all that sorry.

Kirishima's sleepy face transformed into one of gratitude. With a huge grin he took the plate from Bakugo's hand and moved aside to let him come in.

Bakugo walked in, fighting the urge to smile, and made his way over to Kirishima's bed. They both sat down and leaned their backs against the wall. In a comfortable silence they ate their food.

When Kirishima was done he put the plate on his desk and curled up into a ball at the top of his bed.

"Do you want me to leave?" Bakugou asked glancing at his sleepy friend. His heartbeat sped up a little when Kirishima smiled.

"Nah man, I'm just really beat from last night." He let out a big yawn as if to prove his point.

"Yeah… you were kind of a mess." Bakugou kept his eyes trained on his plate. Nervous again for who knows what reason.

Kirishima let out a small chuckle. "Sorry about that. I didn't expect to need help getting back to my room, but they really had it out for me last night"

Bakugo couldn't help but snort at that. They really had.

They sat in comfortable silence once again as Bakugou finished his food as well. Kirishima was looking at videos on his phone and whenever he found an especially funny one he made sure to show it to Bakugou, who was doing the exact same thing.

As Bakugou scrolled through his eyes felt heavy. He wasn't surprised to have his exhaustion creep up on him but it hit him so hard he couldn't help but let his head fall back against the wall as sleep overtook him.

When he woke up, curled in on himself, he froze. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was and why he wasn't in his own bedroom. He sat up and stretched taking in the room around him. The warm afternoon sun was shining in through the window and Bakugou was glad he hadn't slept the whole day away. Even though he desperately needed the sleep he couldn't justify messing up his schedule like that.

Bakugo looked over to Kirishima who had also fallen asleep at the top of the bed. He was still curled up in a ball and he didn't look all that peaceful. Bakugo reached over and ran the back of his hand against Kirishima's arm. It was cold to the touch. He grabbed the blanket he had been laying on top of and pulled it up around Kirishima tucking it in just a little around him. Kirishima did look a little better, his face softened ever so slightly.

Bakugo walked to the head of the bed and kneeled quietly in front of Kirishima, reaching out he trailed the back of his finger up Kirishima's jaw line and into his hair. He ran his fingers through it, it was so much softer than he had expected. He felt his heart race and pulled his hand back. He gnawed at his lips a little before standing up and wiping his sweaty hands on his sweatpants.

What the fuck was he doing?

He grabbed the plates off of Kirishima's desk and briskly walked out of the room. He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding as he walked down the hallway. This time he took the stairs to the kitchen and to his dismay Deku sat at the kitchen table.

When Deku noticed Bakugou his face scrunched into worry.

Bakugou just rolled his eyes. The last thing he cared about doing right now was fighting with that loser. But it just didn't seem like today was Bakugo's day because now Deku was getting up from the table walking right up behind him. Bakugo ignored Him as he washed the plates.

"Um Kacchan?" Deku said in a low voice.

Bakugou grunted.

"Please don't tell anyone you saw me coming out of Todoroki's room last night."

Bakugou turned to face him raising an eyebrow. "Why would I do that? I was also up past curfew. I'm not trying to get myself in trouble idiot"

Deku's damn face turned a deep shade of red "N-no, I mean don't tell _anyone,_ like, our classmates." He stuttered out.

Bakugo turned back to face the sink "Like I'd talk to any of these extras anyway."

"You talk to Kirishima."

Bakugou's stomach did a flip, pausing before going to dry the plates. He just ignored Deku who took the hint that Bakugou was done having this conversation. With a sigh Deku walked out of the kitchen.

Bakugou gave himself a minute to make sure Deku was gone before leaving the kitchen himself and heading back to his room. Today was just too weird and he just wanted some peace and quiet. He hoped his head would shut up for once too.

…

Bakugou woke with a jump, eyes flashing wildly around the room. " _Shit"_ He breathed out between gasps. Another nightmare.

He raised a shaky hand up to wipe his hair off of a sweat soaked forehead. He couldn't keep doing _this_. He listened to his heart thump until it slowed to a close to normal speed before reaching for his phone to check the time. 3:23am. Absolutely fucking wonderful. He sat up and pressed his back to the wall behind him and pulled his knees to his chest. Resting his head against them he let out a quiet growl. He wasn't afraid of anything. Nope. Bakugou was the strongest kid in this damn school. He felt his eyes fill up with tears, threatening to spill over. Not afraid of a damn thing.

…

He woke again to a loud bang, snapping his head and up smashing it into the wall behind him "Fuck!" He yelped. He didn't remember falling back asleep while leaning against the wall but clearly he did. Again there were a few more bangs and he realized someone was knocking on his door.

He got out of bed, rubbing the now sore spot on the back of his head and swung the door open to find a cheerful Kirishima.

"Hey man! Do you wanna go for a run?"

"Sure." Bakugou stretched feeling more well rested than he expected to. He noticed Kirishima's eyes flicker down and linger there. He glanced down himself to see his shirt raised just a little to show off his defined V. Going a little red in the face he quickly put his arms down and turned around. "I'm just gonna change. Give me a second." He quickly found a pair of grey shorts and a burnt orange hoodie and hurried into the the bathroom to change. He also gave himself a second for his face to go back to it's normal color.

They headed outside to do their usual laps around the dorm buildings. Bakugou liked mornings like this. Quiet Sunday's where no one else is up and around yet. He used to run alone before moving into the dorms but the company was better than he thought it would be. They ran in silence but there was an unspoken competition of pushing each other to see who could go longer. He really appreciated that Kirishima didn't talk during this time. Bakugou was pretty sure Kirishima thought if he talked too much Bakugou wouldn't want to run with him, and he probably wouldn't. Running always gave him time to clear his head, with every step he ran a little farther from his intrusive thoughts.

After their fifth lap around Bakugou slowed down just before coming to the front of their building. Hunched over hands on his knees, he needed to catch his breath, which was new, and Kirishima noticed.

"You alright man?" He asked jogging over to Bakugou's side.

Bakugou fought the urge to let out a long sigh. He knew if he did Kirishima would only be more curious. So instead he just glared.

"Of fucking course I'm alright." He said through deep breaths

Kirishima looked at him for a minute before thoughtfully looking up at the sky.

"I think it's supposed to rain soon. Let's just head in we could watch a movie or something."

Bakugo just nodded, earning a smile from the other boy. They walked up to their rooms, each going to theirs individually to change out of their sweaty clothes. Bakugo pulled on some sweats and a white t-shirt before heading to his neighbors room. He opened the door to find a shirtless Kirishima's about to pull a long sleeved shirt over his head. He felt his face flush as he swallowed thickly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, looked down, and walked over to plop himself down on the bed with a grunt.

"What do you wanna watch?" Kirishima asked while walking over to sit next to the sprawled out blond.

"I don't give a shit"

Kirishima smiled softly "Okay, then you can't complain about what I pick"

"I'm gonna" Bakugou grunted.

Kirishima chuckled pulling his laptop over onto his lap. He quickly pulled up a file and clicked it. A movie popped up on his screen.

"Do you seriously have Die Hard saved on your laptop?" Bakugou snickered as he teased.

"Shut up! It's my favorite movie!" Kirishima blushed high on his cheeks. Bakugo looked at him for a second feeling his stomach flutter. He quickly flicked his eyes back to the laptop screen sure that his cheeks were likely a little pink themselves.

Pressed arm to arm with the laptop on the bed in front of them Bakugou could feel his heart race. He hoped Kirishima couldn't tell. There was no reason to be this nervous. They did this all the time, practically every weekend. Yet, here he was absolutely flustered. Very un-Bakugou of him. He couldn't help but let out a frustrated sigh earning a concerned glance from Kirishima.

"If you really don't want to watch this one I can just change it." He said still staring at Bakugou with that damn expression.

Bakugo shook his head "No. It's fine"

Kirishima clicked pause. "Dude, are you alright?"

"I already told you I'm fine" Bakugou said with an eye roll.

Kirishima hesitated. "Yeah, it's just… You've seemed a little off the past couple days. You know you can tell me what's up."

But, how could he? What the fuck was he supposed to say? _The school's forcing me to go to fucking counseling, I can't sleep with nightmares so bad they fucking making me_ cry, _and every fucking time I look at you my heart jumps in my throat?_ Bakugo frowned.

"Drop it."

"But-"

" _Drop it._ " Bakugou growled. He snapped his head back to face the screen. He could see Kirishima's worried face from the corner of his eye. He let out a sigh before turning his head to look at the movie again too.

An awkward silence fell over them like a blanket. Bakugo just wanted to go back to his room, get under his blankets, and stay there until he died. But he was no coward so there he stayed still arm to arm with Kirishima.

A while into the movie Bakugou felt a heavy weight on his shoulder. He looked over to feel Kirishima's red spikes brush against his jaw. His breath caught in his throat. He looked down and could see Kirishima's eyes closed softly and his lips slightly parted, fast asleep. Again his heart pounded in his chest so hard that if Kirishima was awake he'd be afraid he could hear it too. Every part of his brain screamed to push him off, this was too much, but he couldn't get himself to move. He practically melted into the warmth. He bit his lip, considering his next move, and decided that it couldn't hurt to just let it happen a little longer. He figured it also wouldn't hurt to rest his head gently on top of Kirishima's. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could smell Kirishima's hair gel, kind of like flowers, but very artificial. Bakugou couldn't help but wonder if it was woman's hair gel. The thought brought a small smile to his face. Kirishima would use woman's hair gel with no shame. As the sound of the movie droned on in the background Bakugou felt a little happy. He wished it could just stay like this.

He thought that he might want to try being a little nicer the him. He was the only one who could really take Bakugou's punches, but it couldn't hurt to hit a little softer.

He could hear music play, signaling the end credits of the movie. He felt Kirishima shift a little under his head. Bakugou froze keeping his eyes closed. _Fuck._ Was Kirishima awake? He didn't want Kirishima to know he was _awake_ and _willingly_ resting his head on top of Kirishima's.

"Bakugou?" Kirishima whispered.

Bakugou screamed in his head, trying to look as asleep as possible. He was practically holding his breath waiting for Kirishima to push him off, but the shove didn't come.

"I wish you would tell me what's wrong." Kirishima said even quieter than before the sadness in his voice palpable.

Bakugou's chest felt tight. He just wanted to wrap Kirishima up in a hug to make that sadness die forever. He would fucking _kill_ it.

He felt a hand press into his side and one replace the pressure under his head as Kirishima scooched away. The absence of the warmth made Bakugou desperately want to reach out and bring him right back, but he let Kirishima gently lay him down on his side.

"You've looked so tired, man." Kirishima whispered again "Ever since we got you back."

Bakugou twitched at that, definitely frowning now, but kirishima didn't seem to notice.

"I just wish you'd talk to me about it. I don't want to push because you just push back harder. I wish you would just help yourself by letting someone help you" The sadness was thick in his voice again. It cut through Bakugou like a knife. He couldn't stop it, his eyes flicked open to meet those of the boy just mere inches from his face. Kirishima's face turned as red as his hair.

"How long have you been awake?" Kirishima asked from his spot kneeling in front of the bed, he looked afraid to move.

"I'm seeing the school counselor." Bakugou said in an even voice.

"Wh-What?" Kirishima stuttered.

"The teachers thought it would help for me to talk to someone after… after we moved into the dorms." Bakugou said pushing himself up to a seated position.

Kirishima nodded slowly looking up still making eye contact with Bakugou. "That's good. Uh, how… how long were you awake?"

"Something about pushing me around? And then you're nosey ass saying I should get help from someone." Bakugou rolled his eyes feigning confusion.

Kirishima let out a relieved sigh quietly. It definitely wasn't meant for Bakugou's ears.

"How long have you been going?" Kirishima as he pushed himself onto the bed. He was visibly more relaxed after hearing Bakugou hadn't been awake to know about their almost cuddling. Except he had been of course.

"My first session was this past friday." Bakugou said with a scowl. He didn't love the conversation he had forced himself into.

"So that's where you were!" Kirishima exclaimed "I was seriously worried when I didn't see you after class."

"Don't worry so much shitty hair."

"Can't help it" Kirishima said with a shrug "How was it?"

The frown deepened on Bakugou's face "It blows. I don't fucking need to talk to someone." He growled

"Well I think it's manly to accept help if you need it. I think you should give it your all like you do to everything else." Kirishima smiled at him and it made Bakugou's chest feel tight.

"Yeah whatever." Bakugo looked away from kirishima's face.

"Do you wanna go grab some lunch?" Kirishima said standing up and stretching.

As if on cue Bakugou's stomach growled earning a laugh from Kirishima. He grabbed his phone to check the time, just past noon.

They headed down the stairs together, Kirishima's voice filling the silence as he talked endlessly about anything. It could get annoying but most of the time Bakugou was just glad he didn't have to contribute and Bakugou couldn't deny that it was cute how Kirishima's face would light up when he talked like this. Bakugou almost missed a step. Did he seriously just think Kirishima was cute? He wanted to punch himself in the face for being such a fucking sap lately. At least he wasn't the kind of idiot who would be ashamed of this, right? Hell, he was the fucking best and if he thought Kirishima looked cute when he talked then that just meant Kirishima was probably also pretty great… right? The only real issue was that Bakugou didn't _have time_ for all of this dumb shit. The last thing he needed was to spend his time thinking about Kirishima with everything else that's going on in his life. His main focus needed to be getting through the next four weeks of counseling, while keeping up his training to become the number one hero. He didn't need any distractions, especially not with his lack of sleep. After their run this morning he could only imagine how hero training would go. He would refuse to lose but all that really meant was he was going to be spending some time in recovery girls office. This was all so dumb. Why was he so affected by this? How was he supposed to reach his goals if he's being held back by one small event?

"Bakugou?" Kirishima had stopped walking and was holding Bakugou's shoulders.

"What?" Bakugou snapped, jerking out of Kirishima's grasp.

"You just looked… you looked _really_ angry"

"I'm always angry." Bakugou mumbled

"Yeah but you even activated your quirk"

Bakugou looked down at his hands which were facing palms up ready to blow.

"I'm fine."

Kirishima gave him a cautious looks, eye flickering across his face in search of something. "You know that I can tell you're not, right? I'm not gonna make you talk about it but you're really freaking me out."

Bakugou felt a lump in his throat and tried to swallow it down. "I don't feel hungry anymore. I'm going back upstairs."

Kirishima looked like Bakugou had just punched him in the stomach "Bro, I wasn't trying to upset you." He reached out and grabbed Bakugou's wrist to stop him from walking away but Bakugou yanked it away and turned around. Without another word he quickly walked back up the stairs praying Kirishima wouldn't follow.

"Bakugou?" Kirishima called out. He sounded far enough away that he was most likely still at the bottom of the stairs. Bakugou let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and tried to ignore the stinging in the corner of his eyes and how his vision blurred.

He got to his room and slammed the door. Sliding down against it with his face in his hands he let of a frustrated growl. Why was he acting like this? Since when did Bakugou get so overwhelmed he cried? Yeah, sure, maybe he would scream and fight and curse but cry? He only cried when it really fuckig mattered but practically _nothing_ just set him off.

He pulled himself off the floor, tears rolling down his face, and went to sit on his bed. He laid down on his side and pulled the blankets over his head, sobbing quietly. He didn't want to leave his room for the rest of the day and hoped with all his might that he could just get a good night sleep tonight. Tomorrow _had_ to be better.

 **AN**

Trying to have each chapter hit a minimum of 4,000 words (Hopefully more)

Also I keep end up writing really late (currently it's 2am) because I'm doing finals (and by doing finals I mean procrastinating and creating tododeku and kiribaku comics for my tumblr ((which is yourspookysoul and it's all BNHA content)) instead of doing any of the school work I need to do) so I'm busy all day (being a piece of shit) so I if these start getting too? Weird? Comment and let me know I'm losing all sense of reality because I can't prioritize actual work over fun work or keep a normal sleep schedule for my life! And I went to bed last night at 5am so clearly I'm doing really well.

But enough complaining! Thank you for reading and as always please leave a comment, follow, favorite! They bring life to my dying soul.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3: GET A GRIP**

Bakugou could hear faint knocking on his door. He hadn't left his room, hell, he hadn't left his bed since he'd been crying. He didn't want to face anyone after feeling so embarrassed. Not that anyone knew he got upset besides Kirishima, and even Kirishima didn't see him cry, but the thought of going downstairs sent anxiety through his veins.

Again the little faint knocks. He thought that if he ignored it whoever it was would just leave but to his dismay the door clicked open.

"Bakugou?" He heard Kirishima whisper.

Of fucking course it was Kirishima.

"I brought you some food… I'm sorry about before." Kirishima sighed "I thought you would at least come down for dinner but the later it got I figured I was wrong"

Bakugou heard the sound of glass on wood. Kirishima must have set his plate down on the desk.

"Well, I'll uh, I'll leave you be"

Bakugou listened as Kirishima's footsteps got farther from him.

 _Don't do it,_ His head yelled, _You're fucking pathetic don't do it._

"Wait" Bakugou squeaked out "Just wait a second"

He pulled the blankets off of his head and sat up, but he didn't want to look at Kirishima so his eyes lingered down on the sheets.

"What's up man?" Kirishima asked walking back over.

"I'm sorry" Bakugou practically whispered, his throat hoarse from not speaking for hours.

"For what?" Kirishima genuinely sounded confused.

"For freaking out before, and, uh, thanks for the dinner."

Kirishima sat down at the end of Bakugou's bed. Bakugou flinched away still keeping his face down.

"You know," Kirishima started "I appreciate that you are apologizing, it's very manly of you, but I was just trying to be a good friend."

"I guess I wouldn't know what that's like" Bakugou shifted uncomfortably

"What do you mean?"

"I've never really had good friends. The closest thing I ever had is that fucking bastard Deku, and I don't think I have to explain how that's not a good example of friendship."

Kirishima laughed. Like really laughed, full and hearty, and Bakugou couldn't help but look up and smile. Kirishima looked over at him and his smile immediately fell, replaced by a face of worry.

"Dude, you look like…"

Bakugou knew he was probably talking about his blotchy face, red eyes, and tear stained cheeks. He hung his head again letting out a weak laugh.

"Like What? Like a fucking loser?"

"Like you've had a rough day" Kirishima's voice was soft. He shifted a little closer to Bakugou on the bed. "Is there anything I could do to help?"

"What could you possibly do?"

"I could listen, if you wanted to talk about it. I could do whatever you needed, whatever might make you feel a little better"

Bakugou bit his bottom lip. He knew what he wanted, what might make it a little better but he didn't know how to ask.

"I swear if you laugh…"

"Bro, I'm not gonna laugh at you."

Bakugou pushed his back against the wall and patted the spot next to him. Kirishima gave him a curious look but obeyed and crawled over to the spot next to Bakugou. Arms flush against each other Bakugou took a shaky breath. He laid his head gently on Kirishima's shoulder and waited for Kirishima to say something. After a few anxious moments of Kirishima not saying anything or moving Bakugou glanced up and was surprised to see Kirishima was blushing.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" He was worried Kirishima was going to think it was weird and if the kids face was any indication, he did.

"Wha-What? No, dude, you're fine." Kirishima said with a shaky voice, he cleared his throat. "I'm just surprised. I didn't think you'd want… I'm just surprised."

Bakugou tensed up, he could feel a blush creep onto his cheeks as well. Now he was just feeling embarrassed more than anything else.

Kirishima reached over and rubbed Bakugou's arm. "Dude, relax. I'm not uncomfortable. If this is gonna make you feel better, let it."

Bakugou didn't feel like he was going to cry again, but there were tears rolling lazily down his cheeks. He closed his eyes to try to will them away, praying Kirishima didn't notice.

"Do you wanna talk about what's bothering you today?"

Bakugou shook his head slowly. He didn't trust his voice not to break and he could feel the tears gathering at the bottom of his chin and didn't want to give them any more power to fall. He couldn't think of a way to wipe them away without giving himself away and during his desperate thoughts of how to avoid being found out the tears dropped off and right onto Kirishima's arm. Worst case scenario.

Without a moment of hesitation Kirishima turned and pulled him in a hug. Bakugou's face was pressed into Kirishima's chest and he was trying desperately to hold in a sob. He had no more strength and he let out the shaky cry, and once it started they just kept coming. He could feel Kirishima's shirt was wet as it stuck to his cheeks. He reached up with shaky hands and gripped the back of Kirishima's shirt like his life depended on it.

"Bakugou…" Kirishima was rubbing his back in small circles.

Bakugou could do nothing but cry harder. They were ugly and had his face not been pushed into the others chest they would have been loud enough to get attention from outside of his room. He hadn't let himself break down this hard since he'd been here in fear someone would find out, and now here he sat crying right into someone else's arms.

Once his tears stopped Kirishima pushed him away slightly to be able to look him in the eyes. He hesitated like he wasn't sure what to say. Bakugou felt so small under that look, but safe. So much safer than he'd felt in weeks. As safe as the night in Kamino when his hand met Kirishima's.

"Hey,"

Bakugou's eyes snapped up to see that worried expression again

"Are you alright?"

"How many times are you gonna ask me that today shitty hair?"

Kirishima smiled but his eyes were still sad. "As many times as it take for you to tell me the truth."

Bakugou sat up and wiped at his eyes. "Fine, I'm obviously not okay. But this isn't your problem. I'm not going to make it your problem."

"It's my problem if it's hurting my best friend this much." Kirishima said in a serious voice.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

"I'm not kidding. It hurts me to see you like this. I want all my friends to be happy."

Kirishima kept staring at Bakugou but he couldn't read the look in his eyes.

"I don't want to leave you alone" Kirishima said after a minute of silence.

"Don't be ridiculous you can't just stay here forever."

"I'm not being ridiculous, I could at least stay until you fall asleep" Kirishima said with a shrug.

Bakugou snorted at that

"I'm dead serious!"

"I know you are that's what's funny." And Bakugou meant it. He wasn't sure what it was exactly that caused it but he was starting to feel a lot better, at least for now. "You're not gonna leave even if I want you to, are you?"

"Nope!" Kirishima flashed him his biggest smile, sharp teeth on display.

Bakugou rolled his eyes "Alright… but I already want to try to go to sleep."

"Oh! Okay, should I, uh," Kirishima awkwardly gestured between the bed and chair.

"You can stay on the bed if you want to" Bakugou could feel his face get hot. This was so awkward, but he did have to admit he felt a lot better with Kirishima there. He was glad Kirishima offered to stay.

Kirishima nodded.

Bakugou layed down pulling the blanket up to his chin. He really hoped he wouldn't just lay there awake for hours, Kirishima would never stop worrying if he knew Bakugou wasn't sleeping. Maybe he could just fake it well enough.

"Do you want me to turn the lights off?" kirishima said softly.

"Sure."

Kirishima did so and hurried back onto the bed, now sitting at the head of the bed next to Bakugou. He was facing the wall, back to Kirishima. He was starting to feel more relaxed.

Kirishima lightly placed his hand on Bakugou's arm rubbing soft circles with his thumb. Bakugou wanted to shrug it off but his body felt so heavy. For the first time in what felt like months he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

…

Bakugou kept his eyes focused on the notebook in front of him. He could feel Kirishima's eyes burning into him from across the room and felt like he might just shrivel up. When he woke up this morning Kirishima hadn't been there, and he had been relieved. He couldn't believe how weak he had acted the night before. He completely relied on someone else and it was ridiculous.

He had avoided Kirishima like the plague as he walked to class keeping his head down. He even hid in the bathroom until the class was just about to start to avoid facing him, which was even more ridiculous and Bakugou was appalled at himself for acting like such a fucking loser. Lunch was creeping up on them and his stomach twisted in knots as he thought about sitting at his usual spot. Kirishima would without a doubt take this time to come talk to him and he almost couldn't stomach the idea.

Once lunch did come he considered hiding in the bathroom again but the thought made him recoil. Bakugou wasn't one to let something like one night of weakness turn him into a useless coward. He would have to face him eventually and he would rather do it with his chin up and a scowl plastered across his face.

Kirishima took his usual seat across from Bakugou and greeted him with a kind smile.

"Hey man!" Kirishima said as he broke his chopsticks

Bakugou just grunted in response flashing his eyes up quick to meet those across from him. He was waiting for Kirishima to say something, anything, about the night before, but he didn't. Instead he talked about how boring classes had been, and how he already couldn't wait for the day to end. He talked as though everything was normal and Bakugou hadn't had a full on breakdown in front of him not even 24 hours ago, and Bakugou couldn't be more thankful. Although he was a little surprised, maybe he had made Kirishima uncomfortable and he wanted to pretend it didn't happen? The thought made his chest feel tight. Bakugou was definitely okay with pretending it didn't happen, but the fact that Kirishima would go from acting like he cared so much about what Bakugou was going through to pretending nothing at all was wrong made him feel just absolutely shitty.

"Bro?"

Bakugou jerked his head up, snapping out of his thoughts. "What?" He spat.

"Oh nothing! You just seemed zoned out." Kirishima siad with a smile plastered on his face.

…

The week continued to carry on in a similar way. Kirishima kept his mouth shut about what had happened and Bakugou felt like his chest was filled with fire. He couldn't stop himself from constantly wondering what Kirishima thought of the strange night they had. His thoughts kept travelling back to Kirishima's red cheeks when he was comforting him Sunday night. His head raced through every possible reason as to why Kirishima could have seemed uncomfortable and the only thing he could come up with was himself. All of this did nothing to help him sleep. Since that one night of peace with Kirishima he had been worse than ever watching the sun rise every morning since. He felt like a complete and utter idiot, this was exactly why he didn't depend on other people. And if anything was certain it was that nothing like that would happen again.

…

Friday rolled around just in time for Bakugou to find himself in a deep well of self pity, and the last thing he wanted was to drag his ass to the school counselor. But, he did, because what else could he really do.

He shoved his school work into his bag and shrugged it onto his shoulder as he waited until the last of the others trickled out into the hall before going on his way. With his head hung and hands shoved deep in pockets he made the short walk through the building to the wellness center. The counseling room was around the corner from Recovery Girl's office and felt just as sterile. Something about the sterile feeling of the shrinks office made his skin crawl. This was a place people were supposed to go to feel better, they could have put even the tiniest bit of effort into making the room a little more fucking comfortable. The near barren room consisted of a small desk and laptop that had a cushioned swivel chair next to it, for the shrink of course, and a simple chair that was pulled from a classroom for Bakugou to sit in. It didn't exactly scream "Safe Place!" in Bakugou's opinion. The walls were barren, no art, no bookshelves, the only part of this room that made it less terrible was the large window looking out on the front entrance of the school, and like last week he could see everyone else from his class leaving for the day. Well, not so much leaving since they did all live there.

Ms. Shrink wasn't here yet so Bakugou took the chance to look for a nameplate on her desk but had no luck. He'd just have to carry on avoiding her name, not that he cared much.

Bakugou heard the door creek back open and the same blonde woman from last week strolled in.

"Excuse my lateness, Bakugou I got held up at a meeting." The womans said as she took a seat in her chair setting her bag to her side on the floor. Bakugou took his seat across from her as well.

"I'm still leaving at the usual time, it's not my fault that we're starting late." Bakugou asserted. His hands were still shoved in his pockets and he picked at the lint in them restlessly.

"That's fine. Nobody would have said it was your fault Bakugou, do you normally feel a responsibility for what happens around you?"

Bakugou rolled his eyes, she jumped right into it of course.

"What kind of a question is that? I don't feel responsible for the dumb shit the idiots around me do." He practically growled out the words.

"What about for the things nobody really has control over? It was neither my fault or your fault that I was unable to get here before we were to start, did you think I would try to make it seem to be your fault?" She asked so innocently Bakugou thought he might hurl.

"I just didn't want to be here any longer than I have to be." Bakugou's hands were balled in fists now. He didn't appreciate whatever tone it was that this woman was using.

"I see. How about we move on to something else for now. Why don't you tell me about your family?" She had taken the same notebook she used last week out from her bag and flipped it to fresh page.

"Uh, they're a normal family." Bakugou felt his shoulders relax a little.

"Any Siblings?"

"No, just me and my parents."

"Do your parents get along well?"

"Yes. I don't see how this has anything to do with why I'm here." Bakugou felt annoyed, he could hear that his words were drenched in attitude but he couldn't help it.

"Sometimes," The woman paused "It helps to understand a little more about you to see who you are, and that helps determine how I can help."

Bakugou clicked his tongue "My family is fine, my moms loud and bossy, and my dad is the exact opposite and they're stupidly in love." Bakugou said with an eye roll.

"Do you have a girlfriend Bakugou?"

"No." Bakugou said through a snort.

"I take it you're not interested in relationships?" Blondie asked with a chuckle.

"No, I don't need anything holding me back."

"Sometimes having someone you love can help push you towards your goals. You can have someone to make the world a safer place for." She offered, again writing in that damn notebook.

"Or it gives the villains someone to use against you. You hand them someone they can hurt to get to you when you choose to date as a pro hero." Bakugou stated.

"But you're not a pro yet. Are you not interested in trying to find someone while you're young, before you think it's too dangerous?"

"No."

"Okay. But, you said you have friends last week, are you not worried about the villains using them against you?"

Bakugou hesitated. He didn't want to admit that he didn't have friends, except Kirishima, and he might have even just ruined that before they even really got close.

"All my friends here can take care of themselves I wouldn't have to worry."

Bakugou's eyes drifted over to the window. He wondered what Kirishima was doing right now. Did he remember that Bakugou said he had to go to counseling? Would he ask him about it when he went to the dorms after? Bakugou faced slipped into a frown.

"What are you thinking?" The woman pried, leaning forward.

"Nothing." Bakugou turned to look at the woman in front of him again, changing his face back into a neutral expression

"Did you tell any of your friends you're coming here?"

"Yes." Bakugou was a little surprised that it wasn't a lie. He wouldn't have been able to say that truthfully before this school year. Everyone in his life before was just a follower, standing in his shadow.

The woman didn't say anything for a minute but she smiled thoughtfully. Bakugou watched as she jotted something down in her book.

"Is there anything specific that you would like to take about today?" She started

"Like what?" Bakugou asked cautiously

"Anything that happened since last time we saw each other."

Bakugou swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry, as his mind flashed through images of his dramatic weekend of weakness.

"Not really." He lied

"Not really doesn't exactly mean no. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I can help you with anything you do feel comfortable with sharing."

"I uh, I could use some advice on something." Bakugou said through a clenched jaw. He hated asking anyone for anything.

"What is it?"

"How do you… how does someone figure out what they want when… when their head keeps telling them two different things?" Bakugou asked quietly, maybe if he said it low enough he wouldn't have to feel embarrassed about it.

"Well, without a lot to go on the best advice I could give you is to take some time to really think about it. Sometimes when we can't decide how to feel about something it's because our mind is fighting against what we actually want and what we think we're supposed to want." The woman glanced at the watch on her wrist. "And that's all our time for this week. I'll see you next week Bakugou"

Bakugou didn't wait a second before jumping out of his chair and heading straight out the door to exit the building. His face was burning with the lingering embarrassment from that god awful question. What was worse is that the advice was good advice.

Bakugou chewed at his bottom lip deep in thought as he walked into the dorms and sitting on the couch in the common area was none other than Kirishima.

Kirishima's face lit up like a goddamn christmas tree. "Hey Bakugou! He exclaimed as he jumped out of his seat.

Bakugou felt his entire body relax, he let out a sigh and gave Kirishima a quick wave as he walked past the common area to the stairs. Kirishima quickly walked over to Bakugou to walk up with him.

"How was it?" He asked casually.

Bakugou's stomach felt like a lead weight. "It was fine."

Kirishima nodded thoughtfully "You looked really worried when you walked in."

"I was just thinking." Bakugou said as he gave himself a mental reminder to shut the fuck up before he said something stupid.

"Can I ask what about?"

Bakugou glared at him "No."

Kirishima shifted nervously next to him. "Okay…"

Bakugou let out a frustrated sigh. "It's nothing, you don't have to be worried."

"The last time you said that you ended up… I was right to be worried" Kirishima let out a small laugh that sounded more like a cough.

"I'm tired, I'm going to go to my room and do some homework. I'll see you later." Bakugou said once at the top of the stair on their floor.

"Yeah okay man. I'll see you at dinner?" Kirishima hesitated next to Bakugou's door.

Bakugou gave him a small nod before going into his room and closing his door.


	4. Chapter 4

Midoriya absolutely loved the school week. Yes, because everyday he got to work towards his future, and he had no choice but to be the absolute best so he had to work hard, but that wasn't the only reason. He also got to spend a little bit of his day everyday with Todoroki. Whom he undeniably had the biggest crush on in the entire world. The thought of him just made his chest swell with admiration. Just thinking about it right now forced Midoriya to hide his face in his hands at his desk so no one would ask him why he all of a sudden turned the same shade of red as his shoes.

Midoriya couldn't stop his brain from wandering all throughout class to thoughts of the wonderful weekend he had. The past friday he had made plans with Todoroki to work on homework together, which Midoriya knew would just be the two of them sitting quietly side by side working but he was excited nonetheless. What he didn't expect was to end up staying there until the middle of the night watching comedies sitting next to his crush on his crushes bed in his crushes room. The only damper of the night was when he went to leave and of all people Bakugou was right outside the door. Midoriya knew that there was no reason to feel so guilty being caught, they had only watched movies afterall, but there was still a nagging in his brain and a tightness in his chest that made him certain it wasn't good that Bakugou was there.

Yet, here he was Monday morning in class, and he hadn't heard a single rumor or gotten any weird looks. Midoriya wasn't sure he would say he would be nervous if people find out he's gay, because Midoriya wasn't sure he'd call himself gay. All he knew right now was that Todoroki existing made him want to curl up into a ball and scream.

His closest friends were in on his little secret, which was a conversation he won't soon be forgetting. He had felt horrible to learn that Uraraka had liked him when he confessed his crush on Todoroki to her, and it had taken a couple days for things to feel normal between them again but now she was supportive as ever. Iida on the other hand had been so shocked he went off on a rant about how he should have been more observant and should have noticed his friends feelings sooner, with a whole lot of ridiculous arm movements that Midoriya found endearing.

He really felt lucky to have made such good friends at UA. After his study date (As he was absolutely going to call it) he had lunch with his two best friends and told them all about it. There wasn't really much to tell besides the adorably awkward way Todoroki had asked if Midoriya wanted to stay a little longer to watch the movies, and how Midoriya's arm felt like it was on fire whenever it slightly brushed against Todoroki's due to them sitting just oh so close on the bed. He knew he was being a bit dramatic but he couldn't help but feel things to the fullest extent.

Sitting in class this Monday he had to physically stop himself from staring at his crush. Todoroki just looked so stoic, so calm, so elegant in everything he did and it turned Midoriya into an actual puddle of goo. Crushes were distracting, but he was very okay with it.

…

Uraraka knocked her knuckles lightly on Midoriya's desk to get his attention "You ready to go eat?"

He beamed a smile in her direction "Yeah! Sorry, I was just copying down the last notes."

"It's fine!" Uraraka said with a chuckle "Iida is already in the cafeteria getting a table for us."

Midoriya nodded his head and got up from his seat quickly shoving his notebooks into his bag. They walked down to the cafeteria in a comfortable silence, that is until they stepped into the large room.

"Uraraka, do you see who is sitting at our table?" Midoriya asked frozen in his tracks.

"Ha, looks like it's you're new boyfriend." She said as a smile stretched dangerously across her face. Midoriya didn't appreciate the look in his friends eyes one bit.

"Shut up!" He exclaimed, waving his arms around to make her look at him and not at the unaware new table member. "I can't eat next to him! I'm gonna choke and embarrass myself and then I'll die right on the spot!"

Uraraka reached out and grabbed both of Midoriya's arms and held them tight to his sides. "Oh come on! It'll be great! You're always talking about how you wish you could find more ways to spend time with him! Well here is your opportunity, and best part is he took the initiative!"

After getting their food Uraraka was already moving Midoriya towards the table, and there wasn't much he could do to resist it. He really did want to spend more time with Todoroki, he just didn't expect it actually happen. It's one thing to daydream about all the amazing scenarios he could find himself in with that beautiful boy, but that was in his head where everything worked out perfectly and he was always able to form coherent sentences that were actually always interesting. In reality, he was likely going to sit there quietly while Todoroki sits there even more quietly, since that was just the way he was, and Uraraka would probably be tempted to say something super embarrassing, and gosh this was just going to go very very poorly.

Midoriya tried to sit next to Iida, across the table from Todoroki, only to have the seat stolen out from under him by one of his supposedly best friends. She was painfully determined to make this excruciating. He instead stiffly took a seat next to Todoroki keeping his eyes trained to the plate of food in front of him.

"Hello" Todoroki said in a low voice, his eyes also focused on the noodles in front of him.

"Hi!" Midoriya practically squeaked. He could feel his face heat up and he was too nervous to glance over to see if Todoroki had noticed.

He could practically feel Urarakas eyes burning holes into him and he silently prayed she wouldn't say anything.

"So?" Uraraka started "why did you decide to sit with us today?"

Midoriya considered punching himself in the face at full strength just to remove himself from this situation, but he couldn't do that to recovery girl.

"I'm sorry, did you not want me to? I could-"

"No! No, I'm happy you sat with us! I was just curious!" Uraraka interrupted.

"I usually eat by myself but I wanted to eat with my friend."

Midoriya's heart jumped into his throat. He absolutely considered Todoroki as a friend, especially after everything they've all been through, but it still felt wonderful to hear it come out of his mouth.

"You mean Midoriya?"

"Yes." Todoroki gave a small nod.

If Midoriya's cheeks weren't red before, they were now. He glanced to his side to finally look at the boy sitting next to him and almost jumped out of his skin when he realized Todoroki was staring right at him. Two different colored eyes stared at him with such intensity he thought he might suddenly combust.

"Midoriya? Are you okay?" Todoroki asked innocently. Completely unaware of the effect he had on this poor boy.

"Ye-Yes! Why?" Midoriya stuttered out.

"You look feverish all of sudden."

Midoriya let out a quick laugh that sounded more like he was choking which, to his dismay, caused Todoroki to give him a worried glance. Todoroki reached out and placed a warm hand lightly on his back. Midoriya snapped his attention forward trying with all his might to ignore the way the warmth from the hand against his back spread throughout his entire body. Staring back at him were the smug faces of his friends. Even Iida looked like he was enjoying this way too much, very un-Iida of him. He was not surprised by the smile on Urarakas face at all, it was like she thrived on him being embarrassed.

His eyes pleaded for them to start talking, anything to get the attention off of how awkward he was, and they did. Midoriya had never been more thankful. He zoned out for a while not focusing on the conversation manly dominated by Uraraka and Iida. Every now and then Todoroki would respond and his voice would bring Midoriya out of his thoughts just a little. He couldn't believe how nervous he was just from Todoroki calling him his friend and from him just slightly touching him. His face was just starting to heat up again at the thought when he noticed everyone staring at him.

"What?"

"You're so spaced out. Todoroki was just asking you a question." Uraraka said with a giggle.

Midoriya turned his attention to the boy at his side. Were Todorokis cheeks a little pink? Midoriya was instantly concerned his friends said something out of line while he wasn't paying attention.

"I just asked what you were doing this weekend." Todoroki didn't phrase it like a question, or maybe that's just how Todoroki always talked.

"Oh! Uh, I don't think I'm doing anything besides homework."

"Would you like to come watch movies in my room again? We could also do our homework together. It was nice doing it before."

How Todoroki could so openly ask him over again without being embarrassed was beyond Midoriya. He was so excited that his crush just asked him to hang out that it took him a moment before it occurred to him that, oh, Todoroki can ask him so easily because the feelings are one sided. The thought crushed Midoriya so fast he thought he might just dissolve into the seat. He felt like his heart had literally crumbled away and the pieces were slowly falling creating a heavy weight where the organ used to reside. He hoped it didn't show on his face because the last thing he could do is say no to the beautiful boy in front of him.

"Absolutely!" He said as cheerfully as he could muster.

Todoroki gave him a nod before turning back to his food.

…

"What the heck happened at lunch today?" Uraraka asked as she walked back to the dorms with Midoriya and Iida.

"Yes! What did happen? You got sad very suddenly!" Iida exclaimed much more loudly than Midoriya wanted to deal with.

"I had an earth shattering revelation that I'm a giant idiot." Midoriya mumbled. His eyes were trained on his red shoes, the heavy weight was back in his chest. It had been easier to ignore his sadness as he focused on his classes all day, but now it was all he could focus on. He would have a whole week to sulk, and not to mention a not-so-date with Todoroki.

"What are you going on about Deku?" Uraraka asked. He still loved when she called him by his hero name. He loved what that name meant to him now and on another day, any other day, it might be able to make him feel better, but not today.

"There's no way Todoroki sees me as anything but a friend. It's so obvious."

"You have literally no way of knowing that." Uraraka points out.

"Oh come on! You're telling me everyone doesn't feel nervous asking someone they like to hang out? He did it way to nonchalantly. Couldn't you tell just how platonic it was?" Midoriya asks desperately.

"Honestly, not everyone does. You're just a nervous wreck because you're an emotional person, and I'm not saying that's bad it just is." Uraraka insists "And anyway, you can't just decide he wasn't nervous because he didn't look nervous."

Midoriya let out a sigh in response, not really sure if he's up for this conversation.

It was almost easier to think Todoroki didn't like him because he would just keep his feelings to himself. If he were sure about it he could just pretend everything was normal and continue to be friends. With the possibility that Todoroki could like him back it opened the door of possible rejection and heartbreak, but it also allowed the possibility of something wonderful. Midoriya honestly thought both sounded like too much for him to handle. He did not come into UA thinking he would find anything other than a remarkable education. Yet, here he was faced with some very inconvenient feelings. He couldn't help but think of just this morning when everything felt so possible, how did Todoroki have such an effect on him that his whole perspective has shifted.

…

The rest of the week carried on similarly. Classes were, well, classes. He worked as hard as he could and it helped keep his mind focused on something other than his weekend plans, but as Friday crept up on him he felt more and more nervous. By the end of classes Friday he considered cancelling his plans with Todoroki. But what would he say? He wasn't good enough at lying to make it believable, and Todoroki was too blunt to not ask about whatever excuse Midoriya gave.

Midoriya was still trying to understand his elusive crush. Todoroki was a hard person to read with his constant expression of indifference. Except for the few instances he saw Todoroki angry he had to really search for signs of how the other boy was feeling. For instance, that past weekend on their first (what Midoriya was now not sure he'd call a) date Todoroki wouldn't look him in the eye while he asked Midoriya to stay and watch movies. He could only assume that meant he was nervous to ask him. He could be wrong, and it didn't necessarily mean anything, but it was different than Todorokis normal behavior.

Once Midoriya was in the privacy of his own room he let his body collapse onto his bed. He just wanted to let it swallow him up and spit him back out right before class on Monday. He could just feel that this would be a long weekend.

Before he could spend too much time feeling sorry for himself his phone vibrated once. Twice. Three times.

 **Todoroki~**

I'm in my room.

 **Todoroki~**

I won't start my homework until you get up here.

 **Todoroki~**

So whenever you're ready come up.

Midoiyas heart pounded in his chest as he prayed to whatever heavenly being that existed in this world that he would have the strength to get through this without embarrassing himself, or acting like a lovestruck dweeb. Which, he figured would most likely be the main cause of his embarrassment.

With all the courage he could muster he pulled his body off of his bed, slung his book bag back on his shoulder, and took a step into the hallway. By the time he got to Todoroki's door he had to will his hands to stop shaking before he could knock. He would just blame it on all the trauma his arms have gotten since the start of the school year if Todoroki noticed, but he would prefer not to lie since he was just seriously so bad at it. So he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

It only took a few seconds for it to open to reveal Todoroki, and were Midoriya's eyes deceiving him? Was Todoroki actually smiling? Well it was a slight up turn of the corner of one side of his mouth but that was different and it made Midoriya's heart skip a beat.

"Hey" Midoriya said quietly. Much more quietly than he had intended.

Todoroki stepped aside to allow room for Midoriya to come in. Which he did so immediately. Midoriya took in the sight of the Japanese styled room. He'd only seen it a couple times before and really thought it was awesome. The low desk Todoroki usually had against the wall was now pulled into the middle of the room with his homework already on top of it, but not started like he said it wouldn't be. Midoriya thought the gesture of pulling the desk out so they could both sit on the floor and use it was endearing, even tho he knew that it made the most sense and his feelings were totally silly. He kneeled on one side of the desk pulling his books out of bag and placing them on top of it. Todoroki sat across from him and flipped his books open.

…

It was a while before they finished all the work they had. Midoriya would have much preferred to split the work up over all the days they had off, but Todoroki had insisted that they do it all then and get it out of the way. The sun was completely set by now, and in fact he had watched it lower slowly while he worked. And maybe, just maybe, he watched how beautifully the light hit Todoroki's white hair and glistened on his pale skin making him look like an actual angel.

Now he found himself again sitting on the bed next to Todoroki with a laptop in front of them. This time he made sure to take a seat first, giving Todoroki the chance to sit at a comfortably distance. He didn't want to get into his space and have it be unwanted. It wouldn't make it any easier to hide his crush if he did. But to his utter disbelief Todoroki sat just as close as last time. Maybe even closer. Last time there arms would lightly brush every now and then, but now they were pressed more firmly together. Maybe Midoriya was just imagining the change because he wanted on to be there. As far as changes go it was harder to ignore the fact that this time Todoroki also turned the lights off, had snacks ready, and got a cozy blanket to put on both of their laps. Thankfully Midoriya was pressed against Todoroki's cold side. Mostly likely intentional to balance the warmth of the blanket.

Midoriya was trying very hard to focus on the movie in front of him. It was proving to be nearly impossible though because Todorokis fingers kept bumping into his leg, and with every little movement he felt his chest get a little tighter. Midoriya had made a real effort to keep his hands clasped in his lap while retaining any semblance of a calm, relaxed, not internally freaking out, person. Todoroki on the other hand had his arms relaxed with his hands at his sides under the blanket with a random twitch every now and then causing Midoriya to think he might just die. I mean he just kept nudging Midoriya and Midoriya was finding it increasingly harder to fight the urge to just reach out and intertwine their fingers.

He was definitely getting date vibes, but was he just being self indulgent? Letting himself believe something was happening when it really wasn't? As if to tell him to shut his brain up and just enjoy the movie he felt another nudge against his leg.

He tried to let out a quiet sigh to calm his nerves. Forcing his shoulders to relax he slouched against the wall a little more, and maybe pressed a little more into Todoroki's side. He almost couldn't believe it when Todoroki mimicked the action and snuggled, yes, snuggled, into the green haired boys side. The only reason he did believe it actually happened is because there was no was he could even imagine the feeling in his stomach right now. He tried to look out the corner of his eyes to read Todoroki's expression. He couldn't really tell what he was thinking, but he couldn't turn his eyes away. Todoroki just looked so serene with the artificial light washing over his face. Maybe this was different too. Todoroki always looked calm, but this was softer, maybe even vulnerable, but Midoriya wasn't sure about that. He would have stared forever but he was forced to stop when Todoroki suddenly, but slowly, laid his head down on his shoulder. Midoriya didn't think he's ever blushed harder in his life and thanked the universe for Todoroki turning the lights off. He could hardly processing what was happening and just hoped it would last. The movie wasn't even halfway done and he couldn't imagine anything better than this. That is until he felt Todorokis cold hand slip gently, maybe cautiously, onto his leg. Just resting it on his thigh, but my god did that make Midoriya feel things. He took back every time he said he thought he would die on the spot because never had his heart tried to burst out of his chest quite just like it did now.

…

Bakugo didn't want to see Kirishima at dinner. Bakugo didn't want to see anyone ever again as long as he lived. He found himself absolutely drained, just like he had been after his last visit with the school therapist. This time, however, had been different. The advice she gave him wouldn't leave his head especially after seeing Kirishima in the common space. The second he laid his eyes on that ridiculous red hair he felt all the stress leave his body, and yeah he had been annoyed when Kirishima asked how therapy went but he would be a fucking liar if he didn't admit it also made him incredibly relieved to know Kirishima cared. Especially after the silence on their weird last weekend all fucking week. As soon as Kirishima asked if he'd see dinner him at dinner he knew he was fucked. And that was solely because of the god damn look on Kirishima's face. That stupid fucking smile, and those big dumb expectant eyes. He was just so totally fucked.

Bakugo was completely content acting like the only thing he felt was anger, but that smile had him running what what's-her-face said through his head over and over like a broken record.

 _Sometimes when we can't decide how to feel about something it's because our mind is fighting against what we actually want and what we think we're supposed to want_

What did Bakugo want? What did he _think_ he wanted? He thought his head might explode just trying to figure it out.

…

To Bakugo's disgust he found Kirishima already seated with Kaminari and Sero. Who he really didn't hate. He didn't like them, but their presence had stopped making him furious eventually and now he could tolerate them. On another day he wouldn't have really cared about them being there but no part of him was up for it tonight. They just didn't hesitate to push his buttons and he was already set to blow. He reluctantly took a seat next to his pointy toothed friend. He tried to keep his eyes low trying to stay out no

of whatever dumb thing they were talking about.

He did risk a glance at everyone's food and was relieved to see that the other two boys had near empty plates. Kirishima's looked as if he'd just gotten his food.

"Took you long enough Blasty." Kaminari said in a way too annoying voice.

"Shut the fuck up." Was all Bakugo could muster. All bark and no bite, he knew it and they knew it.

"I wasn't sure you'd come down!" Kirishima exclaimed with a big smile. He always had a fucking smile.

"I said I would see you at dinner, didn't I Shitty hair?"

"Well, yeah! But-"

"But, nothing. I always do what I say I'll do."

He refused to look at the boy next to him. Eyes focused on the curry in front of him, carefully shoveling just enough into his mouth to avoid speaking. He could hear a quiet chuckle come from beside him.

"Well me and Sero are gonna dip. We were just waiting with Kiri since he refused to start eating without you." Kaminari said casually

as he stood from the table grabbing his tray.

Bakugo tried, and Succeeded, to hold in his confused expression. With a neutral face he glanced at the boy next to him and watched the pink dance across Kirishima's cheeks.

Once Sero and Kaminari left he grew the courage to ask, "why were you waiting for me?"

Kirishima looked shocked by the question "I wanted to make sure you actually came down."

"but why?"

"I just wanted to make sure you ate"

Bakugo let out a grunt, while not satisfied by the answer he could tell he wasn't going to get anything better.

Both of them ate their food in silence and Bakugo wasn't too sure if it was the comfortable kind. Something seemed off tonight and it was making him anxious.

"Are you uh," he cleared his throat "Are you alright? You're being abnormally quiet shitty hair."

"Yeah! I'm just tired." Kirishima said a little too casually

"Right. Then you shouldn't have fucking waited for me."

Kirishima frowned at that and Bakugo didn't like the look of it on his usually bright face. Even more so he didn't like that he just caused it.

"I was just being nice."

"I didn't ask you to be"

"That's just what friends do Bakugo."

He could hear anger in Kirishima voice but he just couldn't stop himself.

"Yeah, well, I didn't ask you to be my friend either." Bakugo bit his lip as he stared at the food in front of him. He knew he was being an ass for no reason and he knew Kirishima didn't deserve it.

Kirishima didn't say anything else. He got up grabbed his tray and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Bakugo cursed himself under his breath. He didn't mean to be such a prick all the time and he knew it was only a matter of time until Kirishima got sick of him. Someone can only put up with a jackass like himself for so long. He didn't have much of an appetite anymore and decided he'd just go back to his room.

On the walk back to his dorm room he couldn't help but wonder if maybe he was being a dick because of what the therapist said. He didn't want to wear himself out thinking about it too much but he had definitely been weird with Kirishima lately and he can only ignore it for so long. He knew Kirishima would tell him it wasn't manly to ignore your own feelings but feelings just weren't Bakugos thing. What the hell was Bakugo feeling anyway? He knew he liked spending time with Kirishima more than anyone else he was forced to be around, and maybe having Kirishima around made him feel just a little bit better about everything that has been bothering him, and he definitely felt like a piece of shit for upsetting him just before.

Bakugo found himself standing in front of his neighbors door and even though every part of him screamed to just turn away and go to the solitude of his own room he still stood there. With some self reassurance that he was a little bitch, and that he could definitely have a normal conversation without biting someone's head off, he reached out and knocked hard on Kirishima's door.

Kirishima opened the door with his usual stupid grin, but as soon as he saw Bakugo it fell into a small frown, and Jesus fucking christ Bakugo's stomach fell with it.

"I didn't mean to be a dick." Bakugo blurted out. Which to his delight caused the corner of Kirishima's mouth to turn upwards just a little.

Bakugo wondered for a second when he got so used to reading Kirishima's face like that.

"Are you trying to apologize?"

Bakugo rolled his eyes "Fuck off"

"You are!" Kirishima had his usual smile back, sharp teeth on display, and Bakugo felt a little better.

"I just didn't want you being all moody"

"So you care about my feelings blasty?"

"Fuck you no"

"Like a proper best friend"

"Shut the fuck up Kiri"

Kirishima's mouth opened, and closed, and opened again.

"You look like a fish, why are you looking at me like that?"

"You just called me Kiri!"

Bakugos eyes widened, face going warm "No I didn't"

"You just used a nickname! Since when did you go soft on me?" Kirishima was practically beaming now and Bakugo imagined himself burning up from the sight of it.

Bakugo didn't know what to say. His face still felt incredibly warm and he knew he had to be blushing. All he could muster through his embarrassment was a small grunt.

"You're forgiven _Best Friend_."

Bakugo felt like Kirishima was really trying to kill him. He quickly turned away and started walking to his door, but Kirishima reached out and grabbed his wrist. The sudden touch sent fire up Bakugos arm.

"Hey, wait, let's hang out!"

Keeping his head turned away to hide his ever growing blush Bakugo mumbled out "Okay, fine."

AN

Rviews give me life! Also this chaptyer got cut in half so the story may end up a little longer than I was expecting!


	5. Chapter 5

Bakugo ran his fingers over his wrist. The skin was still tingling since the lost contact.

"Bro?"

He glanced up from his spot on Kirishima's bed to see the other boy giving him a weird look.

"You just spaced out. I said your name like five times man" Kirishima said with a laugh

Bakugo face fell into a frown. He really needed to get his shit together and be a little bit less fucking obvious.

"What were you saying?"

"I was gonna ask if you want to play video games or something?"

"Oh sure. I'll fucking kill you."

"Dude," Kirishima chuckled "You can't say that so casually. It sounds weird without your usual anger behind it"

" you want to see me angry? Let's play." Bakugo couldn't help the smirk that worked its way onto his face. He was so ready to fucking destroy kiri in whatever they played, and he couldn't deny it felt nice to do something so normal. He'd been a fucking mess for weeks while Kirishima was just riding the waves and his friend deserved a fucking break from that shit.

Bakugo wasn't surprised to find the common room full, he was however, disappointed. He wanted to spend time alone with Kirishima without being bothered by every mouth breather in this goddamn school, but he decided to keep his own mouth shut about it even if it killed him. When he walked into the room the look on Kirishima's face was enough to make him sit squished on the couch between some annoying ass elbows and fucking static shock. He knew by the time he got back in his room his hair would probably be standing up from all that electricity.

He found himself now playing Mario Kart against the two boys on either side of him and Kirishima, who was squished between Pikachu and the arm rest. The game was too fucking easy but Kirishima had insisted they play so everyone else could too. And fuck, the pouty face he was sporting made Bakugo's knees weak. So here he was. Without complaint.

It wasn't all bad. Sometimes Pikachu actually had something funny to say. Most of it was fucking stupid, but every now and then something was good enough to actually make Bakugo laugh. He didn't though. He didn't want them to get too chummy so he settled with a snort, or a smirk, but no laughing. The snorts were enough to get Kirishima's attention. He would glance at Bakugo with a small smile on his face every time, and god did it make Bakugo's stomach feel like a swarm of bees. Fuck whatever people said about butterflies these mother fuckers were unpleasant, and yet he could imagine it being sweet like honey under different circumstances.

He obviously beat them. Over and over again ruthlessly. Kaminari sucked as much as you would imagine, Sero wasn't horrible, and Kirishima was coming in some pretty close seconds, but Bakugo was the best and he was living for it.

With a cocky grin plastered to his face he leaned forward to look at Kirishima.

"You sure you wanna play again?"

"Hell yeah!" Kirishima exclaimed and threw a fist in the air "I'm gonna beat you this time!"

Kaminari let out a long groan beside him. He looked at Sero with pleading eyes and the other boy nodded his head.

"We're gonna sit this one out. Don't really want to get obliterated again." Sero stood up and stretched as he talked. He headed towards the kitchen and Kaminari got up to follow.

Bakugo stretched his arm out to his sides, relieved to not be between those two idiots anymore. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch, he was actually starting to feel pretty tired and he hoped it meant he'd actually get some sleep tonight.

He felt the couch cushion sink a little next to him and he peaked his eye open to see Kirishima looking at him with a mischievous grin.

"How about we make this next game a little more interesting?"

"Oh yeah?" Bakugou couldn't help but match his expression "How so?"

"If I win you have to tell me what's up with you, and if you win I can…."

"If I win you're never allowed to ask me what's going on again."

Kirishima frowned at that. He knew the pressure was on now.

Kaminari and Sero came back into the common space to find one of the most intense games of Mario Kart ever witnessed. They were on their last lap, neck and neck for first place and the string of curse words flying out of Bakugo were the most creative anyone's ever heard him.

They didn't dare sit, incase the messed up either of the boys playing. So they lingered at the door absorbing the scene in front of them and, to everyone's disbelief, watched Kirishima cross the finish line first. Bakugo's jaw practically hit the floor as Kirishima jumped out of his seat with a cheer.

"Ha! I fucking beat you man! I didn't even think I could do it!"

Bakugo buried his face in his hands. "Fuuuck"

"Holy shit." Kaminari said suddenly catching the other boys attention "Did Bakubro actually just loose. What. The. Hell."

Bakugo stared him down with a look of pure rage daring Kaminari to say one more fucking word. To which Kaminari smiled. Fucking smiled.

"I've never felt so good!" Kirishima exclaimed throwing a punch through the air.

"Oh, fuck off already." Bakugo growled

"No!" Kirishima turned to him with a huge smile "Come on bro. Upstairs."

Before Bakugo could say anything Kirishima grabbed his hand and started pulling him off the couch and out of the room. Bakugo felt his face get hot at the sudden contact and turned his head away from the boy in front of him. He did, however, catch the look Sero and Kaminari shared and he wanted to die on the spot.

Once Kirishima got him upstairs he pushed the other boy onto his bed, took a seat next to him, and looked at him expectantly. Bakugo knew there was nothing he could do to get out of this. At least not without being an absolute dick to Kirishima.

"Look," Bakugo started, letting out a sigh "I don't really know what to tell you."

"Just be honest with me man."

Bakugo buried his face in his hands once again, taking a deep breath, he forced himself to speak. "I'vebeenhavingnightmares"

"What?"

"I have nightmares." He said more clearly "I just haven't been sleeping"

"Oh man, that's rough…" Kirishima said after a second. His voice was low and sincere

"It's…" Bakugo considered maybe not saying anymore, that was definitely enough of an answer for Kirishima "It's been making me a fucking hot mess."

Kirishima hummed in agreement.

"I'm just jumpy and exhausted. I can't keep up in hero training, and I keep snapping at everyone. Well, more than normal."

"Is that why you were upset last weekend?"

Bakugo huffed out a breath "Yeah, I was just really run down I just feel like I can't catch a fucking break."

"Can I ask what the nightmares are about?"

"No." Bakugo swallowed thickly. This conversation needed to end already. He picked his head up and looked at the red head. He looked disappointed but he nodded his head. Bakugo thanked the universe for Kirishima being ridiculously understanding.

"If you ever do want to talk about it I'll listen."

"I know you would" Bakugo mumbled, earning a bright smile from Kirishima. "Kiri, can we end this conversation it's stressing me out."

Kirishima smiled even brighter at his nickname. Bakugo was tempted to reach out and run his finger across his sharp teeth, but that would be fucking weird so he didn't.

"Sure man! Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yeah, but not one of your lame ones. Let me log in to my netflix on your computer we can watch something good."

Kirishima rolled his eyes but did what Bakugo wanted.

Bakugo pulled up The Conjuring and set up the Japanese subtitles. He heard Kirishima groan next to him.

"Dude, you're gonna make me watch something scary AND make me have to read subtitles. Are you trying to torture me?"

Bakugo laughed "Yeah. That's exactly what I'm trying to do. Now shut up and turn the lights off."

Kirishima got off the bed and while mumbling complaints he dragged his ass over to the light switch and jumped back onto the bed. He wriggled the blanket free from under Bakugo and threw it over their laps. He was sat snug between Bakugo and the wall and Bakugo rolled his eyes.

"Too scared to sit on the edge of the bed, huh?"

"Shut up and start your stupid movie." Kirishima grumbled

With a chuckle Bakugo did. The movie wasn't all that scary by Bakugo's standards. He really did enjoy it though. He really liked that it was supposedly based on a true story, he didn't really believe that shit but he thought it was pretty hilarious the way Kiri gulped when he read it on the screen. The plot wasn't terrible and the jump scares had Kiri grabbing on Bakugo's arm and he was pretty damn glad the lights were off because he was sure he was blushing.

By the time the movie ended Kirishima was practically glued to Bakugo's side. He was clinging onto his arm for dear life, fingers digging into his skin and Bakugo had to hold back a laugh.

"I'm surprised you didn't ask me to turn it off." Bakugo said after closing out the movie

"I knew you wouldn't listen even if I did."

Bakugo just laughed in response earning a glare from Kirishima.

His expression softened and shifted awkwardly letting go of Bakugo's arm. "Hey bro?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you, uh, mind staying the night? I don't think I'll be able to sleep in here all by myself after that." Kirishima gave Bakugo a sheepish smile, a hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

"Alright." Again Bakugo said a silent thank you to the world that the lights were still off.

Kirishima raised his eyebrows at the blonde.

"Don't looks so shocked." Bakugo said flicking Kirishima in the forehead "I just don't want to hear you complain."

"Thank Blasty."

Bakugo gave him an exaggerated eye roll. "Whatever."

Bakugo shuffled down into the blankets letting out a big yawn. He decided it would be best to have his back to Kiri to avoid and awkwardness. He felt Kirishima get comfortable next to him.

They had been laying in silence for a while and Bakugo was pretty sure Kirishima was already asleep. He was still facing out into the room and didn't want to turn around to check. He couldn't fall asleep himself, he didn't feel stressed like usual, and he wasn't really sure why he was still up. Maybe he was nervous because Kiri was there, or maybe because he would have a nightmare, but regardless here he was wide awake.

All of a sudden he felt a finger rub gently between his shoulder blades. He tensed up a little at the sudden touch.

"I can't sleep Bakubro" He heard Kirishima whisper, finger never leaving his spine. "My thoughts are just running wild. Do you think there's a chance that there's another planet out there with people on it too? And would they have quirks?"

"I don't fucking know" Bakugo mumbled, voice rough from disuse.

The finger on his back stopped "Oh shit, I didn't think you were awake."

Bakugo turned around to face the other boy. "I can't sleep either."

"What were you thinking about?" Kirishima had tucked both his hands under his head and Bakugo was missing the contact.

"Nothing really. And even if there are aliens out there I fucking doubt we'd ever meet them."

Bakgo saw Kirishima's teeth glow from the little bit of moonlight shining in the room. "What makes you so sure?"

"The universe is fucking huge, what good would do them to come make contact with us? It's probably take so long to get here our planet would be fucking dead."

Kirishima chuckled "Do you know anything about astronomy?"

"No, shut the fuck up. Do you even know anything about it?" Bakugo pouted at the boy across from him. Their faces were so close together he could feel Kirishima's breathe tickle his cheeks.

"Not really. I learned a little back in middle school but I don't remember most of it. I mostly just remember thinking science is so fucking crazy."

Bakugo felt the corners of his mouth twitch upwards.

"Why are you smiling at me?" Kirishima asked with a smile on his own face.

"I like when you say fuck."

Kirishima giggled at that. "You know, you're pretty soft sometimes Blasty."

Bakugo blew air into Kirishima's face. "What the hell are you on about?"

"I just like when it's me and you. I get to see a Bakugo most people don't. I feel pretty damn special for it."

Bakugo let out a small yawn. He could feel himself giving into sleep, but before he did he whispered out. "Well, yeah, you are pretty special."

…

Bakugo wasn't exactly sure what had changed but something was definitely different. Since their sleepover Kirishima had been acting a little… weird? Just different. He wasn't nearly as touchy as usual, and he wouldn't make eye contact, and Bakugo just didn't fucking get why. He didn't feel like anything weird happened between them, they had slept in the same bed just the other weekend, and they just talked about aliens or whatever before Bakugo passed out. He didn't even have a nightmare that night. Unless maybe he did? And maybe Kirishima had noticed? That wouldn't explain anything though. If that did happen Kirishima would have been fucking worried and tried to talk to him about it not avoid him. In fact, since that weekend he'd only been able to get Kirishima to hang out if the rest of their idiot friends were around and it was getting pretty annoying. Things hit an all time weird that wednesday at lunch.

Bakugo took his usual seat at the table only to have Kaminari and Sero sit on either side of him. He was definitely annoyed because Kirishima usually sat next to him, but he was blown away when Pinky sat across from him with Kirishima next to her. He wouldn't even fucking look at Bakugo and he could feel his skin prickle with annoyance.

…

By the time Friday rolled around Bakugo felt like he was going to blow something up. He was really fucking tired of being ignored by his friend. He felt a fucking sting in his chest everytime he thought about why this was happening. Did he do something wrong?

Sitting in the shrink's office he knew she could tell something was up. Not that Bakugo normally looked happy to be there, but today he couldn't stop tapping his foot or chewing at his bottom lip.

"So," Blondie started without hesitation "Is there anything specific you want to talk about today?"

"I don't know."

She raised an eyebrow at him and he couldn't help but let out a growl.

"I just, fuck, my friend is being fucking weird and I feel like I did something wrong."

"How is he being weird?" She asked while writing in her damn notebook.

"He won't talk to me. I mean he does, but not really and only if other friends are around. He's avoiding being alone with me at all." He said letting out an exhausted sigh.

"Did something happen the last time you were alone?"

"No! Fuck, I don't know." He rubbed his face with calloused hands. "I don't fucknig think something happened, but I feel like something had to have happened. This is just so out of character for him. I normally can't get him to leave me alone."

"Have you tried talking to him about it at all?"

"Well, no, but what the fuck do I say?"

"You don't seem like the kind of person to dance around something. I think you should be honest and ask him why he's acting how he's acting. Ask him if you did something to upset him."

Bakugo just moaned in response. This was exhausting. Friends are exhausting.

"Try it out, we can talk about it next week too after you talk to your friend. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Bakugo thought about it for a minute. He had hardly talked about anything actually going on up until this point. It couldn't hurt to get some actual advice. It wasn't so terrible talking to Kiri about it.

"I do have a problem."

"What's going on?" She said with a smile

"I've been having a hard time sleeping." He said quietly.

She hummed thoughtfully "Okay, do you know why?"

"Mostly, I keep having nightmares. Once I wake up from them I can't usually go back to sleep."

"What happens in the nightmares?"

He glared at her. He didn't want to tell her, he just wanted them to stop.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to that was always the deal. I can't prescribe you anything, that's not my job. I can suggest someone you could see who could do that, but if you don't want to do that we can work on ways to help you that don't rely on medication."

"Let's do that."

"Are the dreams always the same, or different every time?"

"Always the same."

"A good place to start would be dissecting your dreams while your awake. Pick out every part that isn't realistic, everything that screams 'This is a dream' so when you are dreaming your brain is able to realize you're not really in the situation. It's the same tactic some people use to learn how to lucid dream which helps people from stopping night terrors. You can also think about an alternative happy ending. Try to visualize it throughout the day so when you sleep at night your brain chooses to play the dream you created."

Bakugo nodded his head. He really was going to try them, they sounded too easy but if it could help he wasn't going to be an idiot and say no.

"We only have two more meeting after this, if they don't help over the next week I can recommend a psychiatrist for you, if you want one. It may not work that fast and you could always take more time and always come back to me at some point in the future about, or to be recommended someone then also."

"Alright, I'll fucking try 'em." Bakugo felt his shoulders relax a little. He forgot he only had two more meetings. Then he could just go back to ignoring his problems and his life would be a little more peaceful.

"So Bakugo, last week you asked me at the end of our meeting about struggling with what you want. You weren't too clear about it but I was curious if you gave what I said some thought?"

He had. Maybe if Kirishima had actually spoken to him this week he wouldn't have had time to, but he had too much time on his hands since their last meeting.

"Yeah"

"And?"

"And fucking what?"

"Did you figure out what you wanted in the situation?"

"Yeah. I did."


	6. Chapter 6

"I told you so, Deku." Uraraka said with an eye roll.

Midoriya found himself saturday afternoon in the dorm common room with Uraraka and he was practically glowing. He could hardly wait to tell her all about the night they had shared. Squished together on the couch with some blankets they talked in hush voices so no one else around would over hear.

"We practically cuddled! I can't even believe how fast my heart was beating, I thought I was going to have a heart attack right there on his bed."

"I told you that you couldn't decide he didn't like you back. I mean he doesn't hang out with like anyone but you."

"I mean he could just act like that with any one he considers a friend"

"Deku! Stop! You're gonna convince yourself he doesn't like you again. And I literally just said he pretty much only has you as a friend. At least only hangs out with you. So stop and just tell me about the night."

"Okay, okay. So it started out really innocent, just two friends working on their homework together, and it took forever. After like a million years of me trying not to blatantly stare at him the whole time we finished our homework and started watching movies on his bed. And he was all cuddled into my side and he put his hand on my leg and I felt like I was going to explode and it was amazing! We watched a few movies pretty much like that and I even ended up falling asleep there and he never woke me up! I woke up the next morning in his bed cuddled up with him! I had no idea he could be so forward without ever even saying anything. When I woke up I did end up leaving in a hurry though because I was so nervous."

"How exactly did you even just try to convince yourself that he acts like that with anyone else? He was flirting with you so hard. I mean really Deku? You woke up together. Cuddling." Uraraka rolled her eyes

"Okay, okay. When I say it outloud I really see what you mean. I want to ask him on a real date to make sure he's interested for real." Midoriya could feel a blush creep onto his cheeks but he forced himself to fight the urge to hide his face in his arms.

He needed to talk to Uraraka if he was ever gonna get himself to do it.

"Oh my God! That's so exciting what do you want to ask him to do?" She exclaimed throwing her hands together in front of her chest.

"Well, that's why I'm talking to you about it. I have absolutely no idea!"

"Hmmm." Uraraka cocked her head to the side in thought. She looked silly but Midoriya wouldn't say anything about it, since he really did need her help.

"What if you guys did like a picnic date. That way you wouldn't be too obvious to everyone and you guys wouldn't have to leave school grounds."

"Uraraka that's perfect! Now I just have to figure out how to ask him. I want him to know it's a date."

"So straight up say it's a date. Hey Todoroki would you like to go on a date? Why of course Midoriya nothing would ever make me happier. Great, meet me at blah blah blah blah. See? So easy."

"You say that because you're not the one actually asking someone on a date!" Midoriya chided defensively.

"Oh shut it. Do you want to just text him?" She asked eyeing the cell phone on Midoriya's lap.

"Isn't that like, super lame?"

"Oh yeah, for sure, but, you're kind of a nervous dweeb. I can't picture you doing it in person."

"Uraraka! What the heck!"

She had to fight back her ever growing smile, and bite her lips to keep laughs from spilling out. "I'm sorry Deku it's just the truth!"

"Well, then…" Midoriya crossed his arms over his chest definitely "Then I'm just going to have to do it in person to prove you wrong."

He watched as Uraraka let her smile spread devilishly across her face. He couldn't help but feel nervous as to whatever was about to come out of her mouth.

"How about now?" She said nodding her head towards the dorms kitchen.

Midoriya glanced over to see the back of a duel colored head, and oh boy did his stomach drop into his legs.

"Wouldn't it be weird?" Midoriya practically whispered "I just woke up in his bed the morning."

"I think that makes it very appropriate." Uraraka said with a laugh "And, I would rephrase that if I were you."

Midoriya face burned at the implications of his own words. But he knew she had a point. It felt like now or never and if he didn't start moving he would never do it.

"Okay." Midoriya took a deep breath, willed the recent color out of his cheeks, and pried his body from the couch.

With shaky legs he practically wobbled into the kitchen. The quiet boy hadn't noticed him yet and he took a few seconds to collect himself.

"H-hey." His voice cracked while he spoke, and damn Midoriya thought he might just die right there "Todoroki?"

The taller boy turned away from his place at the sink. Grey and blue eyes met with green and Midoriya once again thought he might just die.

"Hey Midoriya." Todoroki said with a hint of a smile that sent shock waves through his heart.

"I was, uh, just wondering, if you would, um, I don't know, maybe…" He couldn't keep his hands still they fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt.

"Yes?" Todoroki asked clearly enjoying the sight of the nervous boy in front of him. Someone else might not have noticed, but Midoriya was getting good at reading the slight shifts in his facial expressions.

"Would you like to go on a date with me!?" He blurted out a little too loud. Blood rushed to his face and his whole body felt like it might burst into flames. He was about to go into a full blown panic but was grounded by a small laugh. Was Todoroki laughing at him?

"Of course." Todoroki said so sure, and there was absolutely a smile on his face now. It was still small and maybe a little bashful, but a smile nonetheless.

Midoriya couldn't help the smile that bloomed on his own face, spreading so far his cheeks hurt.

"Perfect! How about tomorrow afternoon you meet me in front of the dorms?"

"Sounds good, I'll see you then."

Midoriya watched as the other boy walked out of the kitchen and over to the stairs. He waited until Todoroki was out of sight before he made his back to the couch where he found an overly delighted Uraraka. She had clearly heard everything, and well, if she didn't his smile would have given him away.

He had a date with Todoroki Shouto.

…

It was just after one and Midoriya had checked his phone screen maybe three hundred times in the past ten minutes. He had told Todoroki to meet him at one over text the night before, and he had spent most of the morning making homemade lunches with the help of his friends. They had filled Iida in on the events of the past two days later Saturday night, and he had agreed to help the preparations the next day. Besides the lunches these preparations also consisted of getting a little wooden basket, courtesy of Koda, a big blanket, courtesy of Tsuyu, and to help picking out a casual but nice outfit. Although nobody felt confident they could pick best so now thanks to Aoyama Midoriya found himself standing by the door in his usual red sneakers, Aoyama told him it was his staple whatever the heck that meant, his best fitting pair of jeans, and a light blue sweater.

He checked his phone again to see that not even a minute had passed. He still couldn't help but worry that Todoroki had forgotten, or simply said yes to be nice and then planned on standing him up. Midoriya considered the second highly unlikely, it was too mean, but he couldn't help but worry.

A few more minutes passed before he saw Todoroki walking towards him and the dread was replaced with relief and quickly followed by nerves. He gripped the handle of the picnic basket a little harder.

Todoroki gave him a small smile "Hey Midoriya"

Midoriya matched the kind expression "Hi Todoroki"

"So, a picnic?" He gestured towards the basket.

"Oh, yes! Come on!" Midoriya tried to calm his rapid heartbeat and led Todoroki out the door.

It was a quick walk into the woods that surrounded the school. Midoriya wanted to find a spot that gave them privacy and it wasn't long before he found the perfect place. It was a little clearing that was surrounded by trees, giving them both privacy while the sun shine could shine down on them and keep them warm.

Midoriya started to unfold the blanket to lay it down and Todoroki grabbed one side to help.

"You don't have to do that!"

Todoroki gave him a little chuckle and it was music to Midoriya's ears. He could have sworn he was the only person to ever hear that sound before.

"I want to help. Besides this blanket is so much bigger than you I don't really have a choice."

Midoriya felt his face flush.

Once the blanket was placed they took a seat side by side and pulled open the picnic basket.

"I hope you don't mind I made sandwiches." Midoriya pulled out two wrapped lumps and two cans of Sprite "I know Soba noodles are your favorite, but I thought this was very date appropriate"

Todoroki looked at him with wide eyes "How do you know that's my favorite?"

"Are you serious?" Midoriya asked with a chuckle "You eat them all the time."

Todoroki blushed, actually blushed a deep red, and Midoriya's body felt like it was about to shrivel up.

"The sandwiches are perfect, thank you." He looked away and took the food from Midoriya's hands.

Midoriya felt incredibly lucky that he was able to see the shy smile on the other boys faces before he turned away. Todoroki was incredibly good at making Midoriya's heart melt, and damn, he didn't know how he managed to get to go on a date with him.

He must have been admiring the other boy for a second to long because Todoroki looked at him again with an ever growing blush and a worried expression.

"Did I do something weird?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?" Midoriya asked bewildered.

"You've just been staring at me and not saying anything."

"Oh n-no! You were just being cute. Sorry if that's weird of me to say! I, uh, jeez. I'm the one being weird now." Midoriya's face was on fire.

To Midoriya's great relief Todoroki reached out and took Midoriya's hand in his.

"So you think I'm cute?"

…

"What the hell is going on with you two?"

Bakugo glanced to the pink girl seated next to him on the couch. He felt his eye twitch.

"Care to fucking elaborate?"

"You and Kiri? You guys haven't said, like, one word to each other since we've been sitting here." She said rolling her eyes, as if it should be obvious.

"Why the hell are you asking me? Kirishima is the one who usually does all of the talking anyway." Bakugo turned his attention to said redhead in front of him. Kirishima was immersed in a video game with scotch tape and was oblivious to the conversation Pinky had started.

Bakugo would be lying if he said he wasn't a little curious himself why Kirishima had started giving him the cold shoulder. It'd been a week since he started acting like a freak, and he was mostly normal besides refusing to spend any alone time with Bakugo. Then today Kirishima wouldn't even acknowledge that Bakugo was in the room.

"Okay..." Pinky continued "That's true, but I mean you had to have pissed him off really bad for him to straight up ignore you. I mean he won't even look at you!"

Bakugo just glared at her. He hasn't done anything after all. To be fair he hadn't really tried to get Kirishima to talk to him, but who could blame him. It's not like being social, let alone friendly, was really in his skill set. He practically relied on Kirishima keeping their friendship an actual thing.

"Shut up." Bakugo snapped "I'll fucking talk to him or whatever."

Bakugo really hoped that he wouldn't actually have to talk to him, that Kirishima would just stop acting weird and at least look at him. But that didn't seem to be the case because by the fifth round of Mario kart Kirishima had asked everyone to play with him except Bakugo, and he was about to fucking lose it. He didn't think he could wait a second longer he needed to know what the fuck was going on, so when Kirishima excused himself to the kitchen to get a drink Bakugo hardly hesitated to follow a second behind.

"Hey" Bakugo said casually, trying to maintain a calm expression.

For the first time that day Kirishima looked at him, "Hey"

Kirishima's voice was so uncertain Bakugo felt his skin crawl.

"Did I do something? Like to piss you off?"

"N-no!" Kirishima blushed up to his ears.

"Then why the hell are you avoiding me?"

Bakugo could see Kirishima freeze up a little. It was so strange to watch his normally bright and bubbly friend act like this and he fucking hated it.

"Nah, man, everything is fine." Kirishima reassured him.

Except it wasn't reassuring, not fucking at all, because Bakugo could fucking feel the tension in the air.

"Don't fucking lie to me Shitty hair. You're not fucking good at it."

Kirishima smiled with those damn sharp teeth, but it was forced.

"Bakugo everything is fi-"

"Just stop okay?" Bakugo interepted "Look I'm… Fuck I'm _sorry_ if I did something to piss you off or whatever, but don't fucking lie. You've been real fuckin weird lately."

Kirishima just stared. Eyes wide and cheeks pink.

Bakugo could feel himself just getting more frustrated.

"Look, if you're not gonna tell me what's going on then fucking fine!" He snapped "At least I fucking tried!"

Filled with rage he turned and stormed out of the kitchen, right past his friends on the couch, and up the stairs. He was ready to fucking blow something up and needed to get in his fucking room, before it ended up being someone's face.

He slammed his door behind him grabbed the closest thing and blew it up.

"What the FUCK Kirishima!" He yelled to no one.

He ran his hands through his hair, still warm from his quirk, and threw himself onto the bed.

Why the fuck was Kiri being such an ass? An actual fucking asshole. Like damn, he could have at least yelled at Bakugo. But the silence? God the silence was deafening. How could Kirishima just say it was nothing after it so obviously being something? Maybe he just had enough. Yeah, that made sense. He just finally realized the piece of shit Bakugo was and had enough and decided he'd rather just ditch him. MAybe he figured if he just ignored him Bakugo would get the hint and fuck right off? Shit then he just will. Fuck Kirishima. Fuck all those other stupid friends too.

Bakugo felt tears threaten to run down his cheeks and decided that this was exactly why friends aren't fucking worth it.

…

Bakugo starred up as his ceiling. He was too angry to go out of his room for the rest of the day. Maybe it was a little dramatic but he also didn't want to run into any of those fuckers. So now he just lay here absolutely starving. He was just gonna wait a little longer, it was only 9:30 but he was pretty sure most everyone would be in their rooms so he could go make something quick without being bothered. He was pretty sure he hears Kirishima go into his room a little while ago and he hasn't heard the door open since.

Fuck it, better now while Kirishima is in his room.

Bakugo dragged his ass down stairs and rummaged through the fridge, the school kept it pretty stocked which was fucking awesome, so he decided to make some spicy curry.

By the time he was done he was pretty annoyed. He had accidently made too much, it had just become a habit to make an extra plate, and now the thinking about it made his body feel so heavy.

He put the food on two plates because dammit there was just too much and he wasn't going to throw it out. So, he would just eat two plates.

With a huff he took the elevator up to his floor. When the door slid open and he stepped out he almost turned right back around. Standing in front of his door was one nervous looking red head.

Bakugo stood back for a little just watching Kirishima shift awkwardly from foot to foot and run his hands through his hair. With a sigh he reluctantly walked to his door. It didn't take long for Kirishima to see him coming.

"Ah! Bakugo!" He said jumping out of the blondes way.

Bakugo didn't say anything, or look at him. Two could play at this game.

"I uh, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute."

This did earn a glare and he tried to put some real fire behind it, but he didn't close the door behind him. He told himself it was because his hands were pretty full with the food which he placed on his desk. He turned around to find Kirishima standing just inside the doorway.

"For fucks sake! Come in and close the door or get the fuck out." He barked out.

Kirishima jumped before turning and closing the door.

Bakugo watched as he took a deep breath and walked over to sit on Bakugo's bed. Which Bakugo thought was pretty fucking bold, but he wanted to hear what Kirishima had to say if he was being honest, and he could at least be honest with himself right? So he took a seat next to him and waited.

"Look, I know I've been acting weird…"

"Yeah no fucking shit."

"It's… it's not your fault okay?"

Bakugo didn't think it was okay.

"I just was having a… rough week, and I didn't want to hang out." Kirishima said with a little desperation in his voice.

"Or fucking look at me apparently." Bakugo could hear the anger in his words, and by the way Kirishima cringed he could tell he did too.

"I just need you to trust me, bro. I just needed some time for myself." Kirishima eyes were pleading for him to understand.

"But only away from _me_." Bakugo heard his own voice crack.

"Bakugo… It wasn't like that."

"Yes it fucking was!" He snapped jabbing a finger towards himself "I'm the only fucking person you've been avoiding. Look I get it, I'm a fucking prick, and I don't mean to be most of the time, especially not to you, fuck I don't even know what my point is. Just fucking leave. Why are you even here? To make me feel worse?"

Kirishima reached out and wrapped his arms around Bakugos waist pulling him into a tight hug. Bakugo tried to pull his body away and pry those strong arms off of his body. His heart was pounding in his chest and his head was spinning.

"I'm not going anywhere." Kirishima whispered and he tightened his hold "I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't realize I was making you upset. I just figured you wouldn't even notice."

Bakugo stilled at his words. Not notice? How could he not notice?

"Kiri," His voice came out much softer than he thought it ever could "Of course I noticed"

Bakugo felt himself relax into the warm body wrapped around him and tentatively wrapped his own arms loosely around Kirishima's broad back.

"I'm sorry Bakugo." Kirishima said again voice drenched in something akin to sadness, but Bakugo wasn't good enough at all this emotion shit to know exactly what.

"Okay." Bakugo whispered "So we're okay?"

"Yeah, we're good."

Bakugo pulled out of the hug, and he had to admit to himself (Since that's a thing he's doing now apparently) that he missed the warmth.

He looked at the boy next to him and felt honest to god relief wash over him. Kirishima looked normal, and looked right back at him with a smile.

Kirishima's smile only grew lips parting to show his shark teeth.

"Did you know I was coming to talk to or something?" He says pointing to the two plates of curry.

"What? Fuck no. It's all for me go get your own food shitty hair." Bakugo said with a scowl. He grabbed both plates and held them away.

"Waaah! No, come on! You can't eat all of that!" Kirishima reached out trying to grab one from his hand.

"Fuck you yes I can!"

After Kirishima relentlessly tried to wrestle the plate away, and maybe giving Bakugo his best puppy dog eyes, Bkaugo caved and handed him the second plate.

Which Bakugo was going to do without the struggle, but Kirishima didn't need to know that.


	7. Chapter 7

Bakugo had a reputation to keep up, so he was perfectly content to sit at his lunch table and scowl. But if he were to be honest he had a pretty good week so far. Which was refreshing.

Kirishima was still acting normal after they talked and maybe even a little more clingy than usual. Which Bakugo thought wasn't even possible and that he would hate it, and yet neither of those things were true. Even now as he sat beside Kirishima the red head kept bumping his knee against Bakugo's, and that could have just been an accident but he was pretty damn sure it wasn't because Kirishima kept glancing over with a nervous expression as if Bakugo was going to explode at any second if he wasn't careful.

And Bakugo did feel like he was going to explode, just not from anger. Nobody else needed to know this though, so he kept the scowl on his face and his head hanging forward as he shoveled food into his mouth and he damn sure pretended not to notice another sideways glance from Kirishima even if the boy was painfully obvious about it.

Bakugo didn't really know what he was feeling and that was pretty alarming. It was especially nerve wracking because even though he didn't know what he felt it was comforting. And comfortable isn't something Bakugo's been in a long time. He wouldn't be surprised if he actually slept that night. He'd been getting more and more sleep since the week started even if it was only 30 minutes more a night it was still something. The nightmares hadn't happened either. He hadn't even had a chance to try the things his therapist told him at his last session. He hoped it wasn't a fluke and they were really going away.

Bakugo felt knuckles nudge his shoulder. "Hey bro?"

He looked up to see Kirishima staring at him with an amused expression

"What?" He snapped

"You just zoned out really hard. I was trying to get your attention to see if you wanted to come watch movies later?"

"Jeez, is that all you ever do shitty hair?"

Kirishima's amused expression dropped into a pout. Definitely exaggerated if you asked Bakugo, who could only roll his eyes at it.

"Oh come on man! For once I don't need your help with homework I figured we could just hang out. Please, please please please!"

"Jesus fuck!" Bakugo snapped again "Fine! Just shut up already!"

A large smile stretched across Kirishima's face and it was almost contagious. Bakugo had to fight to keep his own face at least neutral.

"Awesome! I'll see you later than!"

"You'll see me all day idiot. We have fucking classes together."

"Oh right!"

…

Bakugo almost cancelled. He felt it was pretty justified to do so. Because for the first time since the past Friday he remembered what he had talked about in therapy besides the nightmares. While it was pretty damn indirect he talked about Kirishima. More specifically he talked about what he wanted.

He said he knew what he wanted and sitting in his dorm room after class thinking about it just almost made him want to cancel his plans with kirishima because... well, he wasn't really sure why. He just felt panicked like he absolutely couldn't go. He didn't know what exactly plans to watch a movie had to do with him deciding to be okay with having friends in his life? Isn't that what friends do? Especially after the very dramatic weekend he had with his tiny fight with Kirishima where he really did decide definitively that he was okay with having friends.

Bakugo knew what he wanted, and that was to do what felt right. That's what it was, and what felt right was letting himself have friends for once. Especially an idiotic shark boy who smiled way too much. So, why was he now sitting in his room alone with the feeling of doom looming over him? The only thing he could think to do was back out and maybe take a night to wallow like he usually does. That's comforting, a different kind of comforting than being around Kirishima, but comforting still.

But he didn't get to, not to cancel and not to wallow, because Kirishima came and fucking got him and dragged him over to his room. So now Bakugo found himself sitting on Kirishima's bed, back against the wall, while the other boy gathered up some snacks. To his surprise Kirishima had gotten them a bunch of healthy snacks, which was a good fucking call because if they're gonna spend so much time sitting on their asses they shouldn't eat crap.

Kirishima plopped down beside him and Bakugo was able to inspect the bowls he was holding. Cherries, strawberries and one bowl for cherry pits. Bakugo grabbed a cherry ripped the stem off and popped it into his mouth. It crunched under his teeth and the sweetness ran down his throat. It was the only kind of sweetness he could really stand. Cherries, and strawberries were about as sweet as Bakugo could get.

Kirishima plucked the cherry stem from the bowl and held it up between two fingers.

"Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?"

Bakugo almost choked.

"What kind of a question is that? I don't know. I've never tried."

"What!? Blasty, how can you go your whole life and not try?"

"Why would I?"

"It's fun? Jeez, sometimes I wonder if you even know how to have fun" Kirishima said with a chuckle

"Shut up." Bakugo said shoving another cherry into his mouth.

"I can. Watch."

And he did watch as Kirishima put the cherry stem in his mouth and he waited patiently to see the stem pulled back out tied in a neat little knot.

"So what's the point?"

Kirishima smirked at him, and Bakugo for a second felt like he was looking in a mirror because that look was far too… too mischevious to belong on Kiri's face.

"It means your a good kisser."

Bakugo starred. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that.

"You try it" Kirishima insisted

"Fuck no."

"Aw, come on! Or are you nervous you can't do it?"

Bakugo knew he was baiting him but his pride was definitely his biggest enemy, so he took a stem out of the bowl.

He stared daggers at Kirishima as he placed the steam on his tongue and snapped his jaw closed.

He was pretty relieved to find it was easy, maybe he was a good kisser who would know, but it would have been pretty fucking embarrassing to not be able to do it.

He pulled the stem out of his mouth and put it right in Kirishima's hand.

"Now can we watch a fucking movie"

Kirishima stared at him with his eyes wide and without a word nodded and turned to grab his lap top. Still logged onto netflix he pulled up the action category.

"Oh come on, we get enough action in our actual lives. Let's watch something else."

"Like what?"

"Donnie Darko."

Kirishima took one look at the movie cover and his face fell "Why do you like such weird fucking movies"

Bakugo let out a snort "It's not weird, well it is a little, but it's fucking good and you're gonna love it so just trust me and put it on."

With a groan Kirishima complied and pressed play.

Again Bakugo was overwhelmed with a sense of calm. Sitting beside Kirishima with a laptop balanced on each of their thighs had never felt better. He could hardly pay attention to the movie, he felt like he could just exist in that moment forever.

Especially since Kirishima was practically playing footsie with him and it was pretty damn distracting. Bakugo wasn't even sure if Kirishima realized he was doing it because this time he wasn't giving Bakugo awkward glances, but it seemed pretty intentional. Like, damn, he was pretty much just rubbing his foot against the side of Bakugos. He wondered if he should move it over. Was it weird to sit there and let it happen?

But Kirishima was definitely doing it on purpose, because now he was laying his head on Bakugo's shoulder. Just like that other time they watched movies together, but this time he was very much awake and it had Bakugo's stomach doing flips.

"Is this okay?" Kirishima said in a quiet voice just above a whisper

Bakugo tried to get a look at Kirishima's face. All he could see was a faint blush a top his nose but it was enough to know Kirishima was nervous. So he decided he didn't need to answer just lean his head gently on top of Kirishima's. He hoped it said enough because he didn't trust his voice right now.

…

It was dark. It was dark all around him and he couldn't catch his breath. Fuck, why couldn't he breath? He tried to scream out but there was no sound. No, once his mouth was open all that came out was sludge. The taste of sewer attacked his senses and his eyes watered relentlessly. He couldn't even move, couldn't even fight against it. The screaming in his head was deafening. He needed someone to hear him, anyone, just make it stop. Stop. _Stop._

"BAKUGO! Please, _wake up."_

Bakugo opened his eyes to find a very dishevelled looking Kirishima on top of him, and he was screaming. Except his mouth wasn't open?

"Bakugo you're okay, calm down."

Oh, Kirishima wasn't screaming _he_ was. And he was being held down by hardened arms.

He closed his mouth and looked up at the other boy, and he knew he looked panicked. He knew what he looked like after a nightmare. But, worse than that he felt the sting in his eyes and he really fucking didn't want to cry in front of kirishima. Again.

"Hey, you're okay" Kirishima softened his arms "You're not alone"

Bakugo pulled his arm out of Kirishima's grasp and put his hand over his face and begged his body to listen for once and not fucking cry.

He let out a shaky sob, because when was the universe ever on his side.

"What can I do to help?"

Bakugo just shook his head. His voice was lost in the mess of sobs leaving his body.

Kirishima carefully laid down next to Bakugo on the bed and pulled him against his chest.

"Just tell me to stop at any point if this is too much."

But Bakugo didn't want him to stop. He grabbed the front of Kirishima's shirt in his fist and put his face against his chest breathing in deep his nose filling with the sweet scent of hair gel and cinnamon.

"Just breath. Take a deep breath I'm right here, you're okay." Kirishima spoke into the top of Bakugo's head, rubbing soft soothing circles into Bakugo's back.

Bakugo took a deep breath in through his nose, and out through his mouth. The tears were stopping but he was still shaking and he wasn't ready to pull away.

"Kiri," He croaked "I don't want to.. I can't"

"Shush, it's okay. You don't have to tell me anything. But you're sleeping here the rest of the night. Just relax I'm not letting you go"

Bakugo nodded his head against the other boys chest.

…

When friday rolled around Bakugo felt pretty anxious. He wasn't sure if it was because he knew he only had one more meeting after this and was restless for it to be over but that seemed like the best guess. He also had been feeling a little extra stressed since the nightmare he had, and he knew he was going to have to talk about it in just a little while once counseling began.

He had beat the woman here again, but he was just early and if he had been waiting for ten minutes, well that was truly his fault this time.

Only a few minutes later Bakugo found himself awkwardly staring at his hands as the therapist got settled.

"So, Bakugo, what's on your mind today?"

"Nothing."

"You sure? You seem a bit nervous."

"I'm not… I'm not _nervous."_

"So, what are you feeling?"

Bakugo shrugged.

"How was your week?"

"It was good, mostly."

"That's nice, what was good about it?"

"Well, that friend I told you about last week?"

"Mmhm."

"He stopped acting like a freak and started talking to me again. After I confronted him about it that is."

The woman gave Bakugo a skeptical look.

"I didn't like punch him in the face of something jeez, I just _talked_ to him… Anyway, since then we've been totally fine, better than fine actually."

"Oh? How so?" She asked with a smile.

"Just uh," Bakugo felt his face get warm thinking over the past week. Him and Kirishima hadn't done anything that different than usual. The only differences were the… extra touches, and the night they had where Kirishima held Bakugo while he calmed down and the rest of the night, rubbing small circles into his back and, oh. Oh. "Just was."

"That's all?"

Bakugo felt his cheeks get even hotter.

"We just spent time together is all."

"What kind of relationship do you have with him?"

"What kind of a fucking question is that?" Bakugo spluttered. " We're just friends!"

"Do you want to be more than that?"

"What the fuck! This is not why I'm being forced to go to these damn meetings!"

"Okay, okay." She said with a chuckle. "What parts of this week weren't so great?"

Bakugo dropped his gaze down to his hands again taking a deep breath "Just the same shit as before."

"The nightmares? Have you tried the exercises we talked about?"

"No." He said as he looked up to meet her eyes again "I've only had one since our last meeting. I haven't had a chance to really try them."

"Well, it sounds like you're improving if you're not having them as often. I wonder if your _friend_ has something to do with it."

Bakugo shot her a look.

"I'm just saying, you had a good week with your friend and you haven't really had any. It could be correlated."

"Well it happened when I was with him." Bakugop said in a low voice.

"But, you still had only one. Did you try picking the dream apart so next time you have it you could get out of it quicker?"

"I tried, but I can't find anything that isn't realistic."

"Keep looking. You'll find something that doesn't make sense and just focus on that."

"Okay."

"Is that the only thing that's bothering you?"

"There is one thing that's been bothering me for a while."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"You've kind of mentioned it before… I just… I find myself…" Bakugo took another deep breath "Look, I'm not an idiot okay? I know what I'm thinking is stupid but I can't help it."

"Bakugo, no one thinks you're an idiot. Especially not me."

"I just keep blaming myself for… a lot"

"Does this have to do with Camino?"

Bakugo flinched. Did she have to be so perceptive?

"Does it make a fucking difference? I just don't want to keep feeling like everything rests on my shoulders."

"Why do you think you feel this way?"

"I don't fucking know! It's just, how can it _not_ be, ya know? If I just hadn't been… It's just hard to see how it's anyone else's fault." Bakugo could feel the sting in his eyes and rubbed viciously at his eyes with the back of his hand. "But it's fucking exhausting knowing it's my fault."

"It's not your fault. Not at all. Not what happened in Camino, not being taken, not what happened with All Might."

Bakugo didn't take his hand away from his eyes.

"What time is it."

"Six, but Bakugo I don't think you-"

Bakugo quickly stood and walked out of the room not giving her time to finish. He didn't stop walking until he was safely inside of a bathroom stall.

He let out a shaky breathe "Fuck…"

…

Bakugo sat at the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. He was just waiting for the knock. He knew Kirishima was going to come over to ask about how his afternoon went, and the boy was most likely in his room waiting to hear Bakugo's return.

And there it was, the creak and click of Kirishima's door opening and closing.

He heard the knock and dropped his hands from his face. It wouldn't do any good to look like he's sulking when Kirishima walks in.

"Bakugo?"

"Just get is here already, shitty hair." He said just loud enough that the other boy could hear it.

Kirishima walked in looking pretty damn happy, with a big smile and eyes practically sparkling.

"Hey dude! How was counseling?"

"Exhausting" Bakugo sighed

Kirishima's smile fell a little "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not particularly. I just spent enough time fucking talking."

"Yeah, I can understand that. Do you want me to go?"

"No" Bakugo answered maybe a little too quickly "You can stay."

Kirishima smiled brightly at him "What do you wanna do?"

Bakugo shrugged "I don't know"

"Would it be lame if I asked if you wanted to watch a movie?"

"Yeah, it really fucking would be."

"Ha, okay… have you eaten yet? We could go cook something."

"More like you just want me to cook you dinner."

"Aw, come on Bakugo!" Kirishima said giving him a lopsided grin "Can you really blame me?"

"No, no I can't." He said returning the smile.

He was a bit taken back by the shocked expression suddenly on Kirishima's face.

"What?" Bakugo asked warily

"Nothing," Kirishima said quickly snapping his face back to normal "You just don't usually smile like that"

"Oh, fuck off. I smile."

"Yeah, but not like… Nevermind let's just go cook!" He said jumping to his feet.

Bakugo gave a huff but followed after him.

They decided to make stir fry. Mostly because it was easy. Bakugo took over pretty much everything, he acted like Kirishima was just useless in the way, but both of them knew Bakugo just needed to do it his way.

And, to be fair, it was helping to unwind some of the stress from his body. He always found cooking to be really relaxing, and it was nice to cook for someone who appreciated it.

They brought their plates upstairs and just put on music and ate in the comfort of each others company.

Until Kirishima broke it.

"So…"

"Hmm"

"You sure you don't want to talk about counseling?"

Bakugo let out a long, really extra long, sigh. Just to make sure Kirishima took what he said very seriously.

"No. not at all."

"Okay, but you looked kind of sad when I came in before."

Bakugo looked at Kirishima with a blank expression.

"You're not gonna leave it alone, are you?"

"Nope!" He said sporting a smile. "I might drop it for now, but I'll just ask you again in like an hour."

Bakugo glared at him. "You're being a little shit."

"Yeah, but I feel like i've earned it. I've seen you upset enough over the past month. I'm gonna be a little pushy if I have to."

"Oh, like you weren't pushy before?" Bakugo rolled his eyes

"You haven't seen nothing yet, man."

"Fine, let's fucking talk about it then." Bakugo said standing up from the floor to go sit on his bed.

"Alright why was it oh so exhausting?" Kirishima asked, joining him.

Bakugo bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth.

"We talked about the nightmares, kind of."

""Kind of?"

"Yeah, there wasn't much to say... I, uh, only had the one while I was with you."

"And that's what you were upset about?"

"Yeah…" Bakugo said with a shrug.

"You know I can tell you're lying right?"

"Kiri, I really don't want to talk about it again."

Kirishima looked at him for a second before giving him a small smile.

"I know… I'm not trying to push you too much. It's just been really hard watching you break down these past few weeks, and I'd rather know what's going on so I can actually help."

"You have been helping." Bakugo said quietly, looking down at his lap "More than you know."

"Oh yeah?"

Bakugo nodded

"You really don't have to tell me, I won't make you." Kirishima continued "I guess I'm being a little selfish."

"Oh shut up." Bakugo punched him lightly in the side "You're not being selfish, you're being a good friend."

"So you'll tell me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Yeah, I guess you didn't."

Bakugo breathed in deeply through his nose, letting it out through his teeth. "But I will."

Kirishima perked up at that.

"But," Bakugo started "I don't really know what to fucking say. I guess what really bothered me was the ending…"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, we talked about Camino, kind of."

"Oh." Kirishima said quietly "That's kind of the whole point though, right?

"Mhm, I guess. It's just, fuck it's embarrassing." Bakugo dropped his face into his hands once again.

"Dude, you never have to feel embarrassed around me. Come on, being honest is manly."

"I just… feel really responsible for everything."

"Everything?"

" _Everything._ For being captured, for putting everyone in danger at the camp, for All Might, for… for putting you in a situation where _you_ could have gotten yourself killed. I just feel like if I just hadn't… if I could just go back and… fuck." Bakugo let out a shaky breath, tears threatening to pour down his face. He pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes.

"Bakugo, you can't blame yourself for all of that. It's not your fault that-"

"How?" Bakugo interrupted "How is any of that not my fault? I fucking-" His voice cracked "If I hadn't acted like such a fucking asshole at the sports festival for the world to see, for them to see, if I hadn't been so arrogant, if I hadn't gotten captured."

"Bakugo-"

"Everything would be different. Fuck, I wouldn't have these nightmares again. All might would still be the top hero, No one would have gotten hurt."

"Again? You've had the nightmare before?"

"Fuck, Kirishima that's what you got out of that?"

"Ah, no, I'm sorry. Look, You can't blame yourself for those villains choice. They tried to take Tokoyami too. And, they're just straight up wrong. You know what I see when I look at you? The strongest, most dedicated, manliest hero I know. I'm not even fucking joking. Bakugo you're so much better than they will ever know, and I'm not the only one who thought so. It wasn't just me to come and get you, and Aizawa see's it, and All Might see's it. And anyone who doesn't can go fuck themselves, yeah?"

Bakugo couldn't say anything. He just let the tears fall, choking out sobs.

Kirishima wrapped his arms around the blonde and pulled him into a tight hug, with Bakugo letting out shaky breaths into the crook of his neck.

"And the nightmares," Bakugo choked out, his voice hoarse "I got them for the first time after the sludge villain. They didn't last before, I was able to just wait it out, but now they're back and they're worse. I have all the old one's again where I can't fucking breathe and I can't fucking scream or see of anything. I'm just choking and dying. It's so real, because it was real, because I literally fucking lived that. And now I have them where the villains kill me, where they kill All Might right in front of me, where the hero's never even come because they think they villains were right, where I can't get to you in the sky and I fall back into the fight, and those ones are the worst because in them I just let myself fall I don't try to make it back to the ground. I just let myself die. Like, what the fuck is that! Fuck!"

Bakugo pushed his face deeper into Kirishima's neck, his hands coming up and grabbing the back of Kirishima's shirt like his life depended on it.

They sat like that for a while as Bakugo cried it all out. Once he could catch his breath he pulled back to look at Kirishima and felt what had to be his heart breaking when he saw the tears streaming down his friends face.

"Kiri, please don't fucking cry for me"

Kirishima shook his head "Shut up. How can't I? Just fucking let me hug you."

So Bakugo did. He wrapped his arms around Kirishima's neck and pulled himself against him, almost sitting in his lap. Kirishima wrapped his arms back around the other boys waist.

"No wonder you haven't been sleeping. I wouldn't either." Kirishima spoke into the blonde mess of spikes.

"Yeah… I think I sleep better when I'm with you."

"Oh?"

"Like, cus I'm not alone."

"Then do you want to sleep with me again tonight?"

Bakugo didn't say anything, but that's all the response that was needed.


	8. Chapter 8

"Did you hear?!" Mina screeched as she came rushing in Kirishima's room Kaminari and Sero hot on her tail.

Bakugo was sprawled out across the bed with Kirishima squished between him and the wall sitting crossed legged. They both glanced up from their phones at the loud entrance.

"Oh good Bakugo's here too! So?! Did you guys hear?"

"Uh, about?" Kirishima asked with a chuckle.

"Midoriya and Todoroki!"

"Uh, no?"  
"Why the fuck would I care about either of them?" Bakugo questioned

"Because," Mina said with an eye roll "It's probably the most drama that's ever happened in class 1A and we absolutely have to talk about it!"

Kirishima rolled his eyes "I mean we've literally been attacked by villians multiple times, but yeah sure, the most drama."

"Just tell them what happened!" kaminari shouted before anyone else could speak

Mina looked at the boys in front of her with mischief in her eyes

"Midoriya asked out Todoroki!"

"Huh?" Bakugo so elegantly asked with a look of pure disbelief

"Let me tell you all about it…"

…

"Todoroki!" Midoriya shouted with a smile stretching across his face.

The other boy looked up from his seat at the lunch table and gave a slight smile. A few other people glanced their way after the loud call, but Midoriya didn't notice. He was too busy being wrapped up in his own head, because again he was gladly reminded that that small smile only ever gets revealed to him. Midoriya walked over to tug at Todoroki's arm.

"Are you done eating? I was wondering if you wanted to go sit outside with me before we had to go back to class?"

"Sure." Todoroki let Midoriya pull him out of his seat and out of the cafeteria.

They walked side by side out of the building to take a seat on a bench. Once they were seated Midoriya intertwined his fingers with Todorokis.

"Is this okay?" He asked as a blush burned cheeks.

"It is." Todoroki tightened his grip and Midoriyas blush spread to burn the tips of his ears.

Midoriya wanted to ask Todoroki if he could hold his hand in the hallway, but he didn't know what they were, and he didn't know if Todoroki would be okay with other people knowing or seeing.

"What are you thinking?"

Midoriya snapped his head up. Was he mumbling again? "Ah, nothing!"

"You can tell me." Todoroki gave his hand a tight squeeze.

"It's just… I want to hold your hand in the hallway… I don't know what other people will think, or if you'll mind."

Todoroki gave him a confused look. "You could have just asked. I wouldn't mind."

"You don't care if people see us?"

"I wouldn't be holding your hand now if I cared, or gone on a picnic date."

Midoriya gave a nervous giggle "That makes sense."

"Are you nervous what people will think?"

"Maybe a little?"

"I don't think anyone is gonna care. Not anyone who matters anyway."

"So, when we walk back to class I can still hold your hand?"

Todoroki gave him that small smile once again and he almost melted

"I didn't plan on letting go any time soon."

They did walk back to class holding hands, and Midoriya was shocked that nobody seemed to even notice. He didn't catch anyone staring and having Todoroki standing next to him gave him a new confidence about it all.

Once they found themselves standing outside their classroom dorm he felt himself hesitate.

"We don't have to walk in holding hands if you're worried about it." Todoroki offered

"I think I'd rather not for now if that's okay?"

"Of course it's okay." Todoroki let his hand go and Midoriya felt like all of him was suddenly cold.

But he wasn't ready for everyone in 1-A to know. He wasn't ready for all the gossip. So he accepted that he'd just have to wait until they were in the dorms later to feel his warmth again, but that was okay. It gave him something to look forward to.

They walked into the room together and Midoriya blushed when he caught Urarakas knowing glance.

Later that day Midoriya found himself walking back to the dorms plagued by an important question he still needed an answer for. What were him and Todoroki? They hadn't really talked about it. Just cuddled, went on a date, and held hands a little bit. So could Midoriya call him his boyfriend? He really hoped so.

Said boy was walking beside him right now and he could so easily reach out and grab his hand. He was tempted to, but they were walking with pretty much everyone else in their class.

Todoroki nudged him in the arm "You're doing it again."

"Ah! Sorry!" Midoriya wasn't sure if he meant mumbling, or just zoning out.

"If you want to hold my hand you know you can." Todoroki said quietly.

Se he had been mumbling…

"I'm still a little nervous." He gave Todoroki a shaky smile.

"That's alright, we don't have to. But when we get upstairs I'm not letting you go."

Midoriya legs almost gave out. Todoroki was pretty dang good at making him feel like he could die immediately. Spontaneous combustion.

"How can you just say things like that!"

"What? Does it bother you?"

"No! No… just wasn't expecting it."

"You are blushing pretty bad." Todoroki nudged him in the arm again with a small chuckle.

It was almost silent and it was beautiful and Midoriya almost died again. No doubt making his blush even worse than It already was.

They took the stairs up towards Todoroki's room and were now all alone. Everyone else had pretty much opted to stay and hang out in the common area. Midoriya happily took the other hand in his. He hoped the way his heart pounded in his chest would never go away from such a small touch.

"Hey, Todoroki?" Midoriya asked staring at his feet.

"Yeah?"

"We're dating, right?"

"Well, we've had some study movie dates, and that lunch date, so yeah, I'd say we're dating."

"Wait!? You thought of those nights watching movies as dates?"

"You didn't?"

"I had no idea you liked me! I just thought you wanted to hang out as friends!"

"Oh, I knew you liked me."

"Oh my god, that's so embarrassing… how?"

"You just get really nervous around me, but in a good way. It's cute. I thought you were going to blow up on the spot when we cuddled."

"Spontaneous combustion!" Midoriya exclaimed "I thought I was going to too!"

"I'm glad you didn't. That would have been hard to explain to Aizawa."

Midoriya had to laugh at that. He couldn't tell if Todoroki could tell when he was being funny, he seemed all too serious when he said things like that.

"So, if we're dating, can I call you my boyfriend?"

Todoroki blushed, it was hardly noticeable, a light pink dusting his cheeks but Midoriya thought it was adorable.

"Yeah, you can."

"Can… can I kiss you?" He whispered, nervous to even hear himself ask.

"Yeah… you can."

Todoroki had to lean down a bit to meet the freckled boys lips with his. It was quick and soft but it was enough to light up Midoriya's body with electricity. He almost thought he'd activated his quirk.

"Let's go in" Todoroki said not an inch from his face.

Finally walking into Todoroki's room Midoriya was elated to finally be alone and just be with his boyfriend.

…

Bakugo could feel the blood pulsing through his veins, the beating of his heart loud in his ears. He was absolutely fucking livid, and he had no goddamn reason to be.

Yeah, sure, he normally got mad having to listen to anything about that stupid nerd and all of his stupid accomplishments, but hearing about his love life? Apparently that was Bakugo's breaking point because he could practically feel his self control slipping out of him with every shaky exhale.

"Uraraka had practically been stalking them the whole time and they didn't even notice she was there! And then Uraraka told me and the other girls!" Mina said with an excited giggle.

"Yo, Bakubro, you alright?" Kaminari asked throwing Bakugo a confused look.

Bakugo wanted to respond but the only thing that came out of his mouth was practically a growl.

"Uh, maybe you guys should leave? I'll do damage control." Kirishima said nervously as he ushered the others towards the door.

They went willingly but with muffled complaints and Bakugo could make out a faint "What the fuck is his deal?" that set his teeth on edge.

What the fuck was his deal? He was so angry he could hardly form a coherent thought about it.

Kirishima came back over to the bed and cautiously took a seat besides the blond. He didn't say anything for a few minutes just sat next to Bakugo to let him cool down. Once he was cool enough to touch, literally, Kirishima reached out and put a hand lightly on his knee.

Bakugo snapped his eyes up to glare at Kirishima, but he didn't move away.

"What's up, man?"

"I'm fucking pissed."

"Yeah, no shit," Kirishima snorted "Why?"

Bakugo turned his gaze away to stare at the floor in front of him. He really didn't have an answer, so with a frustrated sigh he gave a slight shrug.

"Dude, you can't just," Kirishima mimicked the meak gesture.

"I just- it's just so fucking frustrating, I guess? Like, who the fuck wants to hear about that?"

"I know you don't like Midoriya, but Mina just likes to gossip. And it is kind of cool, like they're the first couple in our class. Typical high school stuff, ya know?"

"That's not even it. Well it is but… but it's not just that I don't fucking like Deku, which is way more fucking complicated than that anyway, it's just, fuck I don't even know what i'm just fucking… unnerved? That sounds so fucking stupid. I don't fucking know!"

"You're unnerved... by Midoriya dating Todoroki?"

"Yeah! Fuck, no? It's just why would he do that?"

"Ask Todoroki out?"

"Yes!"

"Because he likes him?"

"So fucking what? I don't wanna fucking know about it. He shouldn't have fucking done that. It's so stupid." Because Bakugo wouldn't have. Because being a hero needs to be the main focus. Why would Deku willingly add distractions? Why would he put anything in front of his goals? What if their relationship didn't last and any time they had to work together in the future they couldn't do their fucking jobs? There were just too many down sides. Friends, sure, but more? That wasn't something Bakugo was ready to take a step towards even if he might want to. So why the fuck does Deku get to?

Kirishima stared at Bakugo blankly. "So let me get this straight. Midoriya and Todoroki dating just really fucks you up that much? And not because you don't just dislike Midoriya? So fucking what Bakugo? Is it because they're gay?"

Bakugo almost fucking choked on his tongue. Where the fuck did Kirishima pull that out of? "What the-"

"Are you so fucking _unnerved_ because Midoriya and Todoroki just happen to both have dicks?"

"Kirishi-"

"Is it just so fucking gross to you? You just can't imagine something like that?" Kirishima was almost shouting now. Clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white.

"I can't imagine choosing-"

"Oh!" Kirishima interrupted again "So you can't imagine choosing to be gay? News flash asshole! It's not a fucking choice!"

"Fuck! Kirishima let me fucking talk!" This conversation was spiraling and Bakugo could hardly keep up.

"No! Fuck you!" Kirishima snapped standing up from the bed, his shoulders tense. He glared at Bakugo anger flashing in his eyes "Fuck you."

"Why the hell are you so fucking mad-"

"Because I'm gay Bakugo!" Kirishima bawled. His eyes grew wide and the color drained from his face.

He didn't give Bakugo a chance to process this sudden declaration. He left the room as quickly as those words had left his mouth.

Sitting in the heavy silence all alone gave Bakugo plenty of time to panic. He couldn't catch his breath, this was the worst anxiety he'd felt in a long time and that was fucking saying something. But this was real and it was happening outside of his control and it shouldn't even be happening in the first place. Kirishima thought he was homophobic? What the actual fuck. Kirishima is gay? What. The. Fuck. Bakugo knew this time if he didn't figure out how to fix it he would lose Kirishima for real. And it would be his fault, and it was be over a fucking misunderstanding. A straight up lie. BAkugo knew he had to do something and he could only think to talk to one person.

…

"So, why do you need to talk to me Bakuboy?"

Mina sat crossed legged on Bakugo's bed back leaning against the wall. When Bakugo had texted her and asked her to come to his room she bounced in not even five minutes later radiating joy and he could practically feel the will to annoy him coming off of her in waves, until she noticed the absolute look of panic on his face that is. So she closed the door behind her, made her way over to his bed and without asking out right why he looked like he might cry any second, she pried in the gentle way he needed.

"I swear to god, if this leaves this room, if this leaves the two of us I'll fucking blow you up racoon eyes."

"I know, and it won't. So, really, what's up?"

Bakugo sat down next to her on the bed and ran a shakey hand through his hair.

"I really, really fucked up with Kirishima, and I really don't even know where to begin to fix it."

Mina leaned back against the wall and hummed. "Well, I'll definitely try to help as long as I think it's worth helping."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Bakugo knew he sounded desperate but that was not the response he was expecting.

"If you really fucked up like you said than you could have hurt Kirishima to the point where I don't want you guys to make up. He's one of my best friends, and I'll fucking drop you right here if I think you fucked up too."

Bakugo swallowed dryly. That was fair, but it was all a misunderstanding and he just had to explain it. He was pretty bad with his words, anyone and everyone knew that by now, but this was pretty damn important.

"Okay, but I need you to hear me out all the way through. Because it was all a misunderstanding."

Mina nodded and looked at him expectantly. It was now or never if he wanted her help.

"After you guys left before and Kirishima stayed behind we talked about Deku and Icy hot and I was pissed."

"Yeah, trust me, we know."

"Yeah but Kirishima thought I was mad because I'm against it because they're guys, he fucking thinks I'm homophobic."

"Oh… okay."

"And then he… well he yelled at me a bunch and told me to fuck off pretty much but I'm not… I don't care that they're gay that's not why I was mad."

"Why did you get so mad then."

Bakugo looked down at his lap. He didn't know if he was ready to admit it to himself, let alone someone else, but he really need to get this shit straightened out.

"It's complicated."

"How am I supposed to know you really didn't mean it unless you tell me what you were actually trying to say to Kiri?"  
"I just got mad because it's stupid to put a relationship in the way of your goals. Deku wants to be the number one hero how is he supposed to do that with someone in the way?"

"That's pretty dumb." Mina chuckled

"What the hell? How?"

"Because it's not your life Bakugo, Midoriya and Todoroki are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want without your opinion. And if Midoriya doesn't become the number one hero because he lets himself get distracted with life than you just have a better shot at it so why would you care? Also you literally can't know that would slow him down at all. I think this is really about you."

"About me…"

"Yeah I think you're putting yourself in Midoriya's shoes and you can't wrap your head around the situation. Which tells me at least two things."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Bakugo rolled his eyes

Mina gave him a wicked smirk "That you totally have a crush on someone AND you have no idea what to do about it."

"And if that's true?"

"Well I could help you figure that out after the Kiri thing. So why didn't you just tell this to him?"

"I tried! I couldn't figure out how to put it into words and by the time I did he was already so sure of the reason and wouldn't even fucking let me talk!"

"You know why he was so mad, don't you?"

"Yeah… you know too?"

"Oh yeah, he told me he's gay a while ago. I know he was really worried about you finding out and not being cool with it so he probably started panicking. He's honestly probably just super sad and didn't know how else to respond."

"Well he's a fucking idiot, I wouldn't fucking judge him or some shit. And if he just let me talk this all could have been resolved."

"It still can, but I doubt he wants to talk to you at all. He probably won't go anywhere near you."

"Fan fucking tastic."

"But I'll help with that. I'll get you two alone together, you just gotta plan what you wanna say to him. Make sure you get to the point quick he's not gonna want to listen."

"Thanks."

"Wow wow wow! Blasty said thank you!"

"Shut the fuck up, and get out of my room."

"Oh hold up! What about that crush?"

Bakugo could feel his cheeks get warm "It's not important."

"Hell yeah it is! You're clearly thinking about it a lot if Midoriya getting a boyfriend freaked you out so much."

"I'm really not I have enough shit to worry about. It hardly crosses my mind."

"You're a dirty liar. Who is it?"

"Racoon eyes…"

"Come on Bakugo, It's not that big of a deal."

"Alright fine, I'll tell you…"


	9. Chapter 9: Being Honest

"Take a seat Bakugo! How are you today?"

"I'm fine." Bakugo plopped into the only other chair in the room. His body was electric with nerves and he couldn't help but fidget.

"So today is our last required day together, let's make it count. Last week we had a pretty abrupt ending."

Bakugo scuffed his sneaker against the floor, refusing to meet her eyes.

"We don't have to start where we left off, but I'd prefer if we left on a better note today. So, no running off, alright?"

"Yeah"

"How has your week been going?"

Beakugo let out a long sigh "It's been agonizing."

The counselor quirked an eyebrow "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"I, uh, got in a fight with that friend I talked about before and he's been staying as far away from me as possible all week."

"This is the second time now?"

Bakugo let put a long sigh. "The last time wasn't really a fight, he just started avoiding me like the plague for no reason and I confronted him and it was fine, but this time he's really fucking pissed."

"What happened?"

"It doesn't really matter, but it's my fault, and I don't know how the fuck to fix it. I already talked to one of our other friends and she said she'd help get me alone with him so we can at least talk it out but I don't know exactly what to say to make it better. I'm not good with all this communication bullshit."

"Do you want me to help you come up with what to say?"

"I don't know… I know what I need to say but I don't know if it'll be enough."

"Enough to what?"

"To prove I didn't mean it and that I'm sorry."

She studied him for a second "Well what do you want to say to him?"

"I need to explain what I was actually trying to say if he'll let me get a word in this time. I just need to do it a lot better so there no space for him to doubt me."

"But I'm not asking what you need to say, I'm asking what you want to say."

"Huh?"

"Since we've been sharing these evenings together I've noticed that you've seemed to be more concerned of what you think other people need or expect of you rather than what you really want. We've had the conversation before about being able to separate what you think you're supposed to want and what you actually want, and I'm thinking there's more to this than just needing to apologize. You're stubborn Bakugo, and you go after what you want without other people's help. So if you wanted to convince your friend of how sorry you are you would've blown his door up by now, marched in, and demand he listened to you. But I think there's more, something maybe outside of your comfort zone for you to ask another friend to help? Am I right?"

Bakugo didn't really know what to say to that. Wasn't he just having this exact conversation with an annoying pink gumball just at the beginning of the week?

"Something like that…"

"So what do you want to say to him? What's it all really about?"

"It's kind of complicated."

"That's exactly what I'm here for. Complicated situations are my business. And you already know everything you say here is confidential, this is for your benefit, to help you work through things, and even if this topic might not be the original one that got your butt in that chair five weeks ago I'm more than happy to help you with any problems you have Bakugo."

"Yeah, yeah I know. Just don't know how to talk about it."

"Being honest is a good first step, did you talk about this with your other friend too?"

"Yeah I did…"

"So it's already been out in the air already, but no rush, and no pressure."

"Out in the air," Bakugo huffed "that's ironic."

"Why?"

Bakugo rolled his eyes. "This shouldn't even be a big deal I don't know why everyone cares so much."

"But you care too don't you? Otherwise it wouldn't be a secret in the first place."

"It's not like it's a secret, I just never really thought about it before, or had any reason to tell anyone… I just fucking like the stupid idiot, okay?"

"Isn't this the same friend you told me you didn't like?"

"Oh shut it! I… I didn't _realize_ yet… I can't believe the first people I've come out too are racoon eyes and my fucking therapist" Bakugo put his face in his hands, this was definitely more awkward than telling Mina, she had fucking screeched and then promptly told him she already knew, yeah fucking right.

"Alright so now be honest with yourself, and me, what do you want to tell him?"

"I fucking got it, I'll tell him how I feel, I'm not writing a fucking script for it."

"You might want to," She laughed "or atleast take some time to gather your thoughts. I'm sure he'll listen and forgive you."

"He might not like me back though."

"Yeah, that's always a possibility, but you'll never know unless you try. And, I'm sure he cares about you a lot if he managed to break down your walls enough for you to care about him too."

"He's like that with all his friends… he's just stupid fucking nice. He deserves better than me honestly."

"Why would you think that?"

"I have a lot of fucking baggage, and he doesn't need to deal with that."

"That's really up to him decide isn't it though? Let him see you for who you truly are and if he wants to be with you that's his choice. Everyone has baggage, he's already choosing to deal with it just as your friend."

"I guess that's true… he's already watched me have a million breakdowns the past couple weeks."

"Bakugo, you've been having break downs?"

"Ah, fuck…" Bakugo slumped further into his seat.

"About what?"

"Just… everything. Ya know, the nightmares… and what we talked about last week…"

"What kind of breakdowns?"

"Does it matter?" He could hear the exasperation in his own voice.

"Yeah, it does to me."

"I don't know, like just crying or whatever…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's just" Bakugo took a moment to gather his thoughts "Back when I was hardly sleeping he saw me, uh, snap and break down a few times… and we talked about this before a little but just the other night, before we got in this fight, I had fallen asleep in his room after watching a movie together and I had a pretty bad nightmare and I was I guess reacting to it outside of the dream because Kirishima woke me up and I was kind of screaming. This was before that time you told me how to maybe fix them. Then I had a breakdown in front of him over that and how last week ended… it's just been a lot ya know?"

"Yeah, I can definitely understand if you're feeling overwhelmed… do you want to tell me what happens in these nightmares now?"

Bakugo ran a sweaty hand down his face.

"It's mostly just reliving all the shit. The sludge villain, and camino… it's all so real and I'm even more helpless than I was in real life. I don't fight back, I just die helplessly…"

"Well, that right there could be what you hold on to to realize the dreams aren't real."

"What do you mean?"

"There is no way you, Bakugo Katsuki, wouldn't fight back. There's a reason you're at UA, there's a reason you won the sports festival, and there's a reason you wan't to fix things with your friend. You're pretty headstrong and you fight for yourself and what you think is right. If in these dreams you aren't fighting than you'll know they're not real."

"I guess so…"

"It's at least a good place to start, and if that doesn't work you can always try something else."

"Yeah, all right."

"So, do you want to talk about Camino?"

"Not particularly, but…"

"But?"

" _But,_ if I had to I guess we could."

"You know you don't have to, if you want to I would like to know how you feel when you think back to it."

"I try not to think back to it, but when I do I just feel… hopeless."

"Why do you feel hopeless?"  
"Well, it's more that I'm reminded of how hopeless I felt. I couldn't know for sure that anyone would find me… and I wasn't completely sure they would want to…"

"Why wouldn't they want to find you?"

"Because I was responsible for all of it." Bakugo could feel his eyes burning with unshed tears and tried to will them away. "I'm responsible for what happened at the camp, for what happened to All Might…"

"You are most certainly not responsible for the actions of others, you in no way shoulder any responsibility for what happened at the training camp Bakugo. The choices of the villains were completely their own and they were completely missguided, everyone who knows you knows you're not a villain. All Might knew you weren't going to side with them which is why he made the decision to find you to fight for you and every time he has fought to save someone's life he has made that decision knowing it could be his last fight. That is only something All Might needs to carry the weight of."

Bakugo buried his face in his hands struggling to catch his breath. He didn't want to have a fucking panic attack, he just felt so overwhelmed.

"If you need to take a step away from this for now that's okay, but we really should talk about this more… I don't want you to leave feeling like this."

"No… not right now. After I deal with Kirishima this week… maybe… maybe we can talk about it next week." Bakugo spoke finally looking up from his hands.

"Next week?" She asked with a smile, surprise evident by her wide eyes "Do you want to meet at the same day and time?"

"Yeah… that's fine."

"Alright, than that's probably enough for today. Just take some time and cool down and I'll see you next week Bakugo. I can't wait to hear how it goes with your friend."

After some deep breaths Bakugo stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets "Yeah, yeah."

...

Bakugo went back to his room to think. He knew pinky would be texting him in a little to meet up in her room, and he needed to really figure out what he was gonna say once he got Kiri alone. He had the whole past damn week to figure it out, but the thought of telling Kirishima he liked him was… new. Hell, it was making him nervous, but he was going to do it without a doubt, because when Bakugo decides what he wants he works for it. There was no reason this should be any different.

He'd just be honest. Just jump right into it. Telling Kiri he's gay too would probably clear up so much of the confusion from their fight, and then the hard part would be telling him how he felt. Bakugo let out a shaky breath just at the thought. The worst thing that could happen would be rejection. No the worst thing would be never telling him and living with that on his shoulders, at least a rejection would give him an answer. Then he could move on, and on the rare chance Kiri likes him as more than a friend? Well he didn't know what he would do then but he could figure that out later. One step at a time.

At that moment Bakugos phone vibrated beside him and he watched the screen light up to reveal a text.

RACOON EYES:

Come over blasty!

He didn't bother with a response, just quickly pulled a sweatshirt over his head and made his way over to her room.

Once he was there she ushered him inside with a bright smile.

"Alright Bakubro let's game plan."

Bakugo rolled his eyes "Don't fucking call me that."

Mina rolled her eyes right back "Sure, now I was thinking we could get everyone to hang out tonight, and I'll try to get Sero and Kami to leave with me at some point for some reason."

"Shouldn't you come up with an excuse before hand?"

"Nah, I'm good on my toes don't worry."

"Alright, when?"

"Tonight dummy!"

Bakugo groaned. Tonight? He was already so exhausted from therapy he did not need to add this on top of it.

She gave him a questioning glance. "Don't you wanna make up with him ASAP?"

"Yeah, of fucking course I do. I'm just exhausted."

"I don't think you should wait. The more time he has to wallow the harder it'll be to talk to him. Plus, he'll have a whole extra day of feeling sad if you wait and do you really want that?"

"Fine. Let's get it over with."

"So very positive as always. I'll text everyone let's go to downstairs and wait for them."

…

Bakugo checked the time on his phone for maybe the sixteenth time since they'd been sitting on the couch. It'd been almost a half hour since Racoon eyes had texted their friends to come down. She had said they answered and would be here soon and Bakugo couldn't ignore how fast his heart was pounding. He was not prepared for this. He should have had his therapist tell him what to say. He just hoped by some miracle he would be able to get out everything he needed to say… and well everything he wanted to say.

"Relax, they're gonna be here in a second." Pinky placed her hand over his still holding his phone

"You've said that three times already. He's not gonna come."

"Of course he will. Kirishima may be avoiding you, but he's not gonna avoid me, Kami, and Sero."

"Gee, that makes me feel so much fucking better." He shot her a nasty glare to ensure she knew just much he appreciated that.

"Well, it's true. Now shush you don't want them to come in while we're talking about it."

"Oh?" Both Mina and Bakugo snapped their heads to see a smirking Kaminari behind the couch "Talking about what?"

"Oh nothing!" Mina chirped "You guys took forever! Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure." Sero nodded towards the kitchen "Let's grab snacks?"

"Definitely!" She hopped up off the couch "Let's!"

Bakugo then noticed the very awkward looking Kirishima standing just behind the other two boys. He didn't seem interested in lifting his head up to meet the other boys eyes. Instead he kept them trained on his socked feet and rolled the edge of his shirt in his fingers.

Bakugo didn't know if his nerves made him feel better or worse. On one hand at least he wasn't alone in feeling like this, on the other he was the one who caused it. Yeah, okay, it sucked to see Kirishima feeling so bad. Bakugo's chest tightened at the thought, and even more so when Kirishima immediately went to follow Sero and Mina to the kitchen.

Slumping back into the couch Bakugo almost didn't notice the cushion sink in besides him.

"You alright man?"

Bakugo turned his head just slightly to give Kaminari a dirty look. "I'm fine."

"You look pretty bummed."

"Whatever." Bakugo turned his head back staring at the blank tv screen.

"Let's pick something to watch before they come back. Any suggestions?"

"Horror."

Kaminari chuckled under his breath "No way. You're the only one who wants that, let's do comedy."

"Fuck no. Just pick a horror you don't think looks too terrifying."

"Wow" Kaminari genuinely seemed surprised "Bakugo being compromising? What the hell?"

"Shut up and pick something already or I'll blow the couch up" Bakugo snapped back.

"Now that's the Bakugo I know and cherish. Alright something scary." Kaminari turned his attention to the tv leaving Bakugo to stew in his thoughts a little longer.

The others came back carrying bowls of popcorn and quickly squeezed onto the couch. Sero sat at one end besides Kaminari and Mina quickly squished in against his other side, leaving only a spot next to Bakugo for Kirishima to squish into. He looked at it hesitantly before letting out a quiet sigh and sitting down very clearly trying to sit as far away as he physically could on the cramped cushions. Which really only left about an inch between them.

Bakugo could practically feel the waves of anxiety rolling off of Kiri.

"What are we watching?" Sero asked after passing one of the bowls across the boy sitting next to him.

"A horror, per Bakugo's request."

Sero and Mina both let out matching groans. "Which one?"

"Poltergeist… I have no idea if it's any good I haven't seen it, but it didn't look to scary."

Bakugo had to agree with him there. Poltergeist was one of the first scary movies he ever watched as a kid and while it scared him pretty bad at the time, now it just seemed ridiculous. It didn't age well.

Sero turned the rooms lights off with a quick shot of tape. Bakugo could only imagine he wouldn't remember to remove it later.

The movie started and Bakugo tried to pay attention if only to distract himself from the fidgeting of the boy beside him. Bakugo so badly wanted to reach out and grab his hand. He just wanted him to stop shaking. Now that he knew part of the reason behind that being that he liked Kiri made him all the more nervous himself.

He couldn't help but notice that slowly but surely Kirishima relaxed. The red head was actually watching the movie and it was very obviously distracting him from the awkward situation. Bakugo wished he could say the same about himself but he could only keep his attention on Kirishima.

Which was exactly why he didn't notice the next jump scare, but he very much did notice how Kirishima jumped and immediately grabbed Bakugos arm. Bakugo froze, wide eyes glancing up to meet even the side of Kirishimas face. Until the he also snapped his head to the side, just now realizing he was holding Bakugos arm in a near death grip. Pain quickly flashed across his read eyes before dropping his hands back into his lap.

Bakugo wanted so badly to just wrap his arms around him and hold him close. Explain everything in hushed whispers, but he couldn't get himself to move. All he managed was to turn his head forward to pretend to watch the movie.

…

By the time the movie ended Mina hadn't even tried to get the other boys to leave for a second, and Bakugo was getting more nervous by the second. He wiped his sweat soaked hands on his shorts.

Before the credits were even rolling down the screen Kirishima stood up and quickly glanced back at his friends.

"I'm, uh, really tired. I'm gonna head up to bed now." Kirishima went to step away from the couch and Bakugo shot Mina what he assumed was a fairly panicked expression.

"Wait! Wait, we only just watched one movie let's not waste a perfectly good friday night!" She looked a little panicked herself.

Kirishima spared a weary glance in Bakugo's direction. "No, not tonight. I'm just really beat. We can hang out tomorrow, alright?"

Mina chewed her bottom lip "I guess that's fine."

Kirishima gave her a quick nod and was on his way upstairs.

Bakugo stared at his hands as he listened to the receding footsteps. He eventually glanced up to see Mina staring at him with an apologetic face, but Bakugo really didn't have it in him at this point. He got up and quickly said goodnight before disappearing up the stairs himself.

…

Laying in his bed he felt his phone vibrate beside him.

RACOON EYES:

I'm so sorry Bakugo! I didn't think he'd leave so quick! We can try again tomorrow okay?

Bakugo wanted to tell her that no, it wasn't okay, and that she was the one who said that he shouldn't wait until tomorrow, and that maybe watching a movie wasn't the best idea of what they should have fucking done, but he honestly didn't even have the energy to be an ass.

He dropped the phone back on the bed besides him and rolled over. At least today wore him out enough to fall asleep.

…

It was far too quiet. Bakugo knew something was coming. Nothing is ever this calm, when things haven't gone bad for a while Bakugo knew something would ruin it.

Bakugo glanced around, he was surrounded by dense forest and he could hardly make out anything past a few feet in any direction.

He felt fingers firmly grab his hand. He wanted to jerk away, more than anything to rip his arm away, but he couldn't. As if his body belonged to someone else his head slowly turned to face someone familiar. It took him a second to realize it was himself he was staring at himself. His lip was split, his face pale, his whole body shaking, and his mouth moved as if he were saying something so urgent he couldn't actually get the sound to come out with it. The Bakugo before him looked more frenzied with every passing second and he strained to hear what he was trying to say.

"Your… all…. All your fault…" The clone gasped out.

"Your fault." His voice was getting louder, getting higher.

"It's all your fucking fault!" He spat out in a frantic panic.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT" He screeched, Bakugo tried to rip his hand free but the other him wouldn't budge. Just reaching out and grabbing a hold of his other arm he continued to scream.

"THEY'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT" His clones face twisted up in horror and he wondered for a second if it was a mirror image of the expression he wore at this exact moment. "HE'S DEAD AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT." And Bakugo wished he didn't know what the other him meant.

Bakugo sat up in his bed and felt the tears already streaming down his face. He didn't have time to think, no time to reflect. He needed to get out of bed right now.

He quickly pushed himself off his mattress to almost immediately crash down to the floor. He tried his best to steady his legs as he took off at a half jog out of his room. He ran next door and smacked the door with shaking hands.

After a second of no answer he considered breaking down the door. He could just blow it off the hinges and then he could make sure he was okay.

But it opened and Bakugo took in the sight of a confused Kirishima with a sob. Before Kirishima could close the door in his face he rushed in and wrapped the other boy in a hug.

"You're okay." He whispered into the other boys shoulder. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay."

Kirishima stood rigid as Bakugo sobbed into his neck.

 **AN-**

 **So Bakuboy made the very good decision of going to therapy after their five weeks! Yay for him he fuckin needs it.**

 **There's only one more chapter of this left... and I'm sad about it. I feel like I'm gonna end up editing the entire thing when it's over and rewriting the shit out of chapter 8.**

 **Thank you guys for coming along for the ride and making it this far!**

 **I'd love if you guys left comments! Reading everyone's comments make me so happy and feel so motivated!**  
 **Writing fanfics can be pretty damn draining honestly and I'm starting to remember why I stopped. But more than anything I remember why I loved it so much and that's really cus of you guys. I'm glad anyone has enjoyed my unedited rambling. I write most of this in the middle of the night and I am genuinely curious myself if it makes any sense at all so when people comment to tell me what they think it just makes my heart so happy!**


	10. Please Shut The Fuck Up (Part One)

Bakugo thanked his lucky stars that Kirishima didn't push him away. In fact, when Kirishima placed hesitant hands against his back, pulling him just a little bit closer, Bakugo let out a relieved gasp. He probably sounded hysterical to Kirishima, but he kind of fucking was.

"Hey, calm down. Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" Kirishima tugged Bakugo further into the room and kicked the door closed behind them. "Come on. Let's sit down."

Bakugo was disappointed when Kirishima stepped out of the hug, but he let him take his hand and lead him over towards the bed.

"Was it another nightmare?" Kirishima asked as he sat down.

Bakugo nodded as he took a seat besides Kirishima, so close their thighs were flush.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really" Bakugo said through a shaky breath "I just thought you were hurt."

"Well, I'm alright… do you uh… do you want to stay here? Just until you calm down of course! I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable or something."

It took Bakugo a second to realize what Kirishima meant. In his moment of panic he completely forgot about the cause of their fight, and how Kirishima was currently under the impression that Bakugo was disgusted by his sexuality. He decided in that moment that this alone time was good enough and he might as well make an unplanned speech in a very awkward situation because how could it really get any worse, right?

"Kiri, I need you to shut up and listen and do not interrupt me, got it?" He said all in a rush, his voice pitched high.

"But-"

"No, shut up. First off, I'm sorry, second, I'm not fucking homophobic. I wasn't mad because Deku and icy hot are gay." He paused and took a deep breath "I'm gay too. Or fucking something I don't know there are so many fucking labels but anyway I wasn't mad at all I was jealous. That's it. Not mad, not disgusted, not any stupid thing you thought. Just fucking jealous." Bakugo spit out through a clenched jaw.

Fuck, was it hard to be honest or what?

"Oh, I wasn't really expecting to talk about this... oh my god," Kirishimas face drained of all color "You're jealous? Do you like Todoroki? Or is it Midoriya and that's why you get so angry around him? Oh my god…" Kirishima looked like he was about to start crying as his bottom lip trembled, he pulled it between his sharp teeth to keep it still.

And that was not the reaction Bakugo was expecting. "What the fuck? No! Jesus, didn't I tell you not to interrupt? I'm not fucking done." He jabbed a finger into Kirishima's chest causing the other boy to give a sharp nod. "I was jealous because I didn't think that was an option for me, and I sure as hell didn't want someone else to have what I wanted and it not to even be a fucking possibility for me. But I realized, well raccoon eyes and my fucking therapist made me realize I was being a fucking idiot."

"Mina?"

"Stop interrupting!" Bakugo continued in a huff "Sometimes it's hard to imagine wanting other things because all I've wanted for so long is to be the top hero, that's it. One goal. And then you came into my life and made me realize that having friends doesn't have to be a bad thing. That there can be people who just want to be around you regardless of your flaws, and don't just put you on a pedestal because of your strengths. That it's okay to have other goals and priorities and that they don't have to take away from the other things I want. Especially when being around you makes me feel so much better."

"Me? But, what did-"

Bakugo slapped his hand over Kirishima's mouth.

"Please just shut the fuck up and let me finish! This is hard enough already! I just want- What the fuck!" Bakugo jerked his hand away at the sharp pinch of Kirishima's teeth sinking into his palm.

"Bakugo, I" Kirishima began only to be cut off by Bakugo reaching out and grabbing his arms, giving him a violent shake.

"I'm still not finished. I'll blow you up if you don't let me get this off my fucking chest."

Kirishima activated his quirk in response "Go ahead and try, but it's my turn to talk. Bakugo, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out on you and made assumptions and I should have let you explain yourself, but you're so fucking bad at explaining yourself and I was just so worried you'd hate me and than never talk to me again, and I guess in my panic I just kind of solidified that by being a giant asshole myself, and I've felt like shit about it but I was still mad and confused and just didn't know what the hell to do. But, I should have heard you out."

Bakugo just stared, his mouth hanging open.

"Are you fucking serious? You thought I was homophobic and instead of hating my fucking guts, like I fucking thought you did by the way, you were actually just worried I'd hate you? That I'd never talk to you again? As if I even could hate you, you fucking shitty haired moron. Jesus christ you're way too fucking thoughtful." Bakugo finally released Kirishima's arms and ran his shaky hands through his hair. Looking down at his feet he didn't really know what to say now. He hadn't gotten to the main point yet, but Kirishima just insisted on making things harder with his incessant need to interrupt.

"And I like you too, by the way."

Bakugo snapped his head up "Uh, what?"

"Oh my god," Kirishima looked about ready to run away, but where would he go? They were already in his room "Was that not where this was all going? I thought- you said- you made it seem like- Okay, pretend I never said that!"

Before he really could actually run away Bakugo reached out and grabbed his hand.

"No, Kiri, fuck, yeah… that is… I, uh, I do like you or whatever."

Kirishima ducked his head but Bakugo could still see the nervous smile spreading across his face.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"So are we like…"

"If you're about to get all sappy and ask me if I'm your boyfriend I'm gonna punch you in the face." Bakugo gave Kirishima's hand a squeeze.

"What! But, you're the one who just came in here asking if I'm okay, freaking out and then being all honest!"

Bakugo flopped backwards on the bed "Yeah, well, I'm exhausted and being that emotionally vulnerable for such an extended period of time is enough."

Kirishma laid down next to him and Bakugo could still make out that stupid smile from the corner of his eye. "Well I'm wide awake now. I was so sad after we watched that movie before and it was so awkward, this is the last way I expected the night to go."

"You're not going to let me get any sleep are you?"

"Oh, I will, you being all emotional and thoughtful aside-"

Bakugo put his hands over his face letting out an annoyed sigh

"-I'm just saying that the reason you even came over was because you had a nightmare right? So, of course I'll let you sleep I'm not surprised you're exhausted. You can sleep here, if that wasn't already obvious."

Heat rushed to the surface of Bakugos cheeks, "You need to go to sleep too idiot."

"I will, just get comfy i'll turn the lights off."

Bakugo waited until the room was dark before finally removing his hands from his face, he knew his cheeks were pink and he didn't need Kirishima to have another thing to be a sap over. He quickly got himself comfortable, taking the spot against the wall and waited for Kirishima to crawl in besides him. He was laying on his back staring straight up at the ceiling feeling maybe just a little bit nervous. He was sure Kirishima would have plenty to say in the morning but he really was exhausted and needed to have a clear head to deal with it.

Once Kirishima was also under the covers he placed a tentative hand to Bakugou's arm.

"Is it okay if I…" He moved the hand across his chest, shuffling a bit closer to the blond.

"Yeah, just let me…" Bakugo shifted his arm so it lay under Kirishima's head, giving him room to shuffle in even closer. Once Kirishima's chest was flush to Bakugo's side he whispered a quiet _Goodnight, Bakugo_ to which he replied with a nervous hum.

…

When the light streaming in through the blinds finally roused Bakugo from his sleep he was quite alarmed by the weight around him keeping him in place. It only took a quick glance to realize it was arms, arms connected to a still sleeping Kirishima, to calm his rapid pulse. They had moved in their sleep. Somehow Bakugo ended up on the edge of the bed with Kirishima between him and the wall, and Kirishima was pressed right up against his back with their legs all tangled up under the covers. Bakugo wanted to scoff, like _hell_ he was gonna be a little spoon. At least not again, because maybe this was pretty nice, and nobody had to know he was awake and very much enjoying this, not even Kirishima. Next time he would make sure to be the big spoon. Yup, next time.

They stayed like that for some time, and eventually Kirishima stirred behind him. Bakugo tensed up slightly. He was prepared for whatever bullshit Kirishima was about to say about their current position.

Except Kirishima didn't say anything, and Bakugo felt the content sigh against the back of his neck, more than he heard it. It sent a shiver down his spine.

Bakugo felt his phone vibrate. It had been doing that every few minutes for a while now, but he really couldn't be bothered. He assumed it was his mother, probably complaining that she hadn't seen him in a while. He should probably plan a weekend trip home sometime soon.

"Your phone is vibrating." Kirishima mumbled in a sleepy voice that definitely didn't make a smile slip across Bakugo's face.

Before Bakugo could tell him he didn't really care, it went off another time. With an exasperated sigh he reached under his pillow and pulled it out, but there weren't any text messages from his mom.

He begrudgingly unlocked the phone to read the onslaught of messages from Ashido.

RACOON EYES:

SO! Today we are gonna tackle the Kiri issue head on! You'll be talking before you know it!

RACOON EYES:

Bakubro you're not still mad at me are you? I'll make sure you get to talk to him today

RACOON EYES:

Time for plan B, yes you know nothing about it, yes I'm going to put it in action immediately so get up

RACOON EYES:

If you don't answer i'll just come wake you up

RACOON EYES:

Alright I'm getting Kami and Sero and then you and then Kirishima

RACOON EYES:

DUDE where are you? I went to your room and you didn't answer so I may have peaked inside and ? you're just MIA

The last two popped up while he was holding his phone

RACOON EYES:

Alright I'm getting Kirishima and then I'll find you

RACOON EYES:

AND ANSWER YOUR PHONE

"Fuck, Kiri your idiot friends are all on their way to your room right now, as in-"

There was a knock at Kirishma's bedroom door, followed by a muffled "Morning Kiri! Can I come in?"

"-Right now"

"Oh shit." Kirishima whispered as he sat up. "Do you want to get up? We could try to make it look like you didn't just wake up in my bed."

"We should but I don't really fucking think it'll make a difference, those fuckers are so nosey they're going to assume anyway"

"Kiri!" Mina shouted through the door "I can literally hear you talking to yourself in there, open the door!"

Kirishima glanced nervously at the door "Give me a second Mina!" He shouted back. He turned to Bakugo with that nervous look still on his face "Do you want a sweatshirt?"

Bakugo rolled his eyes "Won't that just make it more obvious?"

"Yeah but…" Kirishima didn't finish, just glanced down at Bakugo's chest. Bakugo followed his gaze and for the first time realized he was wearing his All Aight pajamas. The pair with All Might's smiling face in the middle of the shirt, the pair with 'I Am Here!' all over the bottoms, the pair that Bakugo has had since middle school and has outgrown quite a bit. The top was a little too snug, the pants were a little too short, but he had the habit of wearing it to sleep after an especially stressful day. He hadn't even realized he put it on last night. He had to assume it was because he was too strung out from the day to notice, and now he was definitely regretting that. His cheeks were on fire as he gave Kirishima a quick nod.

"Yeah, okay, a sweatshirt is good."

Kirishima jumped out of bed and rushed over to his dresser, he grabbed the most inconspicuous sweatshirt he owned for Bakugo. This basically meant the only one that wasn't a Crimson Riot sweatshirt, so Bakugo was left wearing an oversized grey crew neck that had ' _SUNS OUT GUNS OUT'_ in bold orange print. He couldn't help but think that Crimson Riot would actually be less obvious but resigned himself to his fate and pulled it over his head.

Bakugo got out of the bed and helped Kiri pull the blankets up as fast as they could and sat back down with his back against the wall. He crossed his legs in front of himself and waited for whatever hell storm was coming when Kiri opened the door.

And he did, just a crack so that Mina could only see his face.

"Finally! What the heck dude?"

"Sorry Mina! What's up guys?"

"We just wanted to hang out, ya know, with the squad." Kaminari answered.

"Alright I, uh, just woke up so I'm gonna need a little bit of time to shower and get ready."

"Forget that. We'll just have a lazy day in the common room or one of our rooms. We just want to play video games or binge watch something."

"Okay, but my hair isn't even spiked."

"Can we at least come in and argue about how you're not gonna waste time this morning getting ready inside of your room?"

"No!" Kirishima shouted with an urgency definitely not warranted for this conversation.

Bakugo knew at that moment there was no way they wouldn't come in, and now it would be weird because it would be obvious Kirishima was trying to hide Bakugo. He made a mental note to remind Kirishima how much of a fucking idiot he was later.

"It's just really a mess right now." Kirishima continued with an awkward laugh.

"Dude, you're acting super weird. You've never cared about your room being a mess before."

"Just shock him, or tape him, come on Sero!"

Bakugo could hear the scuffle as the others tried to shove their way into the room.

"Kirishima, you're so obviously hiding something, move out of our way!"

Kirishima was too nice to use his quirk on his friends, if he weren't so damn nice they would have been able to avoid this awkward moment because there's no way they could move Kirishima if his quirk was activated. But he's too nice, so now Bakugo could only watch as three idiots shoved Kirishima into his own room.

Kaminari was the first to notice Bakugo sitting on the bed. He threw his arms out in front of himself gesturing erratically. "He's been in here Mina!"

Mina glanced over in Bakugos direction and her face morphed into an expression far too knowing once she saw who the 'he' was that Kaminari was referring to.

"Oh, Bakugo!" She exclaimed, pushing her way past the others "I was, like, totally looking for you all morning!"

Bakugo faces felt far too warm "Okay, why the fuck do I care?"

"I was only trying to find you so we could all hang out, but since you're here already I guess everything's fine?"

Bakugo knew what she was getting at. Was everything fine? Him and Kirishima did get to talk about their fight. Things we're definitely better than they were yesterday, but they still had talking to do.

"Everything is fine, but it'd be fucking better if you guys could fuck off and give us a little while to get dressed."

Mina gave him a private smile before turning around to the others in the room.

"Alright, you heard Baks, let's get the fuck out before he gets mad."

"Mina!" Kaminari exclaimed with a chuckle "I don't think I've heard you say that before!"

"I was just copying Blasty, now come on let's go."

Kaminari and Sero left the room but not without a mumbled "We spend so much time trying to find these guys and then we just leave, what the hell."

"Sorry bout that Kiri! When you guys are ready text me we'll probably just be downstairs." And with that Mina was gone too.

Kirishima closed the door behind them and came to sit beside Bakugo on the bed.

"You look good in my sweatshirt."

"I look like an idiot, it's way too big."

"I like it."

Bakugo's cheeks were on fire, he looked at the oversized sweatshirt sleevs and tugged them down over his hands.

"Whatever, we should probably talk about last night."

Kirishima's eyes were hopeful, but his words were careful "You mean about us?"

"Yeah, I mean about us."

 **AN**

 **So, sorry this took 100 years, Thanks for everyone who has stuck around long enough to get here. I didn't want to break the last chapter up, but I've been insanely busy, and I felt so bad about how much time has passed, and I've had this little bit for a while, so I figured, fuck it, I'll post it in two parts. Please let me know what you think, how you're feeling, I love you guys!**


	11. Chapter 11

"Okay," Kirishima began with trepidation "What about us?"

Bakugo took a deep breath, this conversation may just kill him. "You tried to ask me last night if we were…"

"If you want to be my boyfriend?" The hopeful tone was back behind Kirishima's words

"Yes… that."

Kirishima gave him a small smile. "You don't seem opposed to the idea? I get this is a lot. Do you wanna just tell me how you're feeling right now?"

Bakugo rolled his eyes but he was honestly pretty grateful Kirishima was treating the situation so gently. He really didn't know what he was doing, and he didn't think Kirishima knew either. "I like you" Bakugo chanced a glance at Kirishima and immediately regretted it when the dopey smile on his face caused heat to rise in Bakugo's cheeks again. "You already knew this, but I do. I don't feel like this is something I'm allowed to feel. So much has happened this year. I'm…"

"Overwhelmed?"

Bakugo clenched his jaw. "Yeah…"

"Honestly, dude, I'm okay with whatever you're comfortable with. We don't have to label anything. I like you, and you like me, and as long as we know that isn't that what really matters?" Kirishima was still smiling but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I guess, but.."

"But what?"

"But I don't half ass anything"

Kirishima let out a snort "Okay?"

"No listen, I don't half ass anything. I'm not going to half ass this either."

"Everything doesn't have to be so black and white Bakugo." Kirishima said with an eye roll and a fond smile.

"I know that, fuck I know that. I'm just saying if we like each other we should just… go for it. Right?" Bakugo gave an awkward shrug.

"I'm most definitely in favor of that idea."

Bakugo sighed, exasperated "Why do you have to be so weird."

"You're the one who likes me."

Bakugos cheeks flared red again, even the tips of his ears burned as he muttered "Oh shut the fuck up."He cleared his throat and asked a bit louder "How are you feeling about all of this?"  
"I'm happy. Definitely feeling good about it… I am a little worried about what everyone else might say it's not like either of us have come out."

Bakugo noticed how his smile faded just a bit with the admission. "I don't give a shit what any of those fuckers have to say about it, I only give a shit what you think about it. And any fucking way nobody gave a shit when Deku and Pepsi got together."

"Aw, blasty you only care what I think, huh?" Kirishima's cheeks were dusted a pretty pink and Bakugo rather liked the look on him.

"Oh shut up already." Bakugo shoved his shoulder lightly "And Mina knows."

"Yeah, what's up with that?"

"With what?"

"You and Ashido?"

"Oh, well she's the only other fucker who seemed to notice when you were acting weird with me and she would call me out on it. Well, she honestly just cared that you were upset probably but she was trying to help me."

"Ah, so that's why she's so desperate for us all to hang out. More so than usual at least."

"Yeah, and for her to help me I kind of chose to come out to her in the process"

Kirishima brows knit together "Was it hard?"

"No." Bakugo answered immediately.

He pulled his lip between his teeth, worrying it "Oh… okay."

"Hey, it wasn't hard to tell her. It was hard to figure out how I felt and what I wanted to do. And maybe it was hard to admit it out loud for the first time, but I wasn't worried about what she would think of me."

"I'm worried about telling people." Kirishijma admitted in a whisper.

"Do you want this to be a secret then? Is that why you were suggesting it?" Bakugo didn't really want to do that, but he could do it if it made Kirishima more comfortable. They could work their way towards telling people together.

"No! Maybe? I don't know, I'm just nervous. But I don't want to keep it a secret that's not manly! And I really want to be with you." Kirishima smiled, this time it looked genuine, and held out his hand.

Bakugo took it in his and laced their fingers together.

"Before," Kirishima tightened his hold on Bakugou's hand "Back when the villains took you I was so scared. I was scared about what would happen to you, but I was terrified I would never see you again. I know it's selfish, you could have been getting tortured, or who knows what, but all I could think about was how I would feel if I never got to see you sitting in class, or spar with you or, shit, or have you tutor me." Kirishima tried to blink back the wetness in his eyes but a few tears slipped past his lashes and rolled down his cheeks. "I kept thinking 'if Bakugou doesn't come back, if he doesn't get out of there, I won't be able to do this.' I knew I had to get you and make sure you were safe and the minute I called for you and you flew through the air and grabbed my hand my heart fucking exploded. I was so happy to have you back, literally in my grasp I just knew I'd never want to let you go again."

Bakugo knew his cheeks were as red as Kirishima's hair but he refused to look away. He reached up with his empty hand and gently brushed away the tears on his cheek. "Kiri, I'm not going anywhere. I'm okay."

"I know, but you so easily could have not been okay."

"But I am."

"Yeah," Kirishima gave him a small smile "But that was it for me. I knew how I felt, and I don't think it's going to change. I want to be with you, and I'm scared, but I think I'll be fine if we're doing this together."

"Well you can't really fucking date me without me."

"That's a good point." Kirishima laughed, loud and happy. It was definitely a sound Baklugo wanted to keep hearing.

"Yeah I'm fucking full of them"  
"So Bakugou?"

"Hmm"

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Kirishima asked with another sharp toothed goofy smile.

Bakugo knew he looked just as ridiculous when he said "Yeah, shitt hair, I will."

…

Bakugou and Kirishima had split ways to change. Bakugou was happy to be in his own clean clothes, and was waiting impatiently outside Kirishima's door while he finished getting ready. Bakugou couldn't help but hope that Kirishima left his hair down, he wanted to touch it, and the thought hit him like a brick to the face that now he _could._ Of course, he'd ask first. It'd be super fucking weird to just touch his hair, right? Right?

Kirishima chose that moment to open the door and his hair, was in fact, down.

"So!" Kirishima exclaimed flapping his arms awkwardly at his sides "Are we gonna, like, go tell our friends?"

Bakugou couldn't stop his smile at the weird behavior "Do you want to?"

"Yes?" but it sounded like a no.

"We don't have to right now." Bakugo offered. There wasn't any rush.

"But, if not now, when?"

"Are you ready for them to ask questions."

Kirishima let out a sigh as he thought about it, his arms still restlessly moving at his sides.

"Kiri? We could tell them, and then just tell them to shut up if they ask any questions."

"That wouldn't stop them and you know it."

"I'll blow them up." Bakugou accentuated this with a few pops from his palms, and it earned a nice laugh from Kirishima.

"I don't think that's necessary. Okay, what if we walked down holding hands? Good middle ground?"

Bakugou flushed for what felt like the millionth time that day. PDA was not something he had actually thought about before this moment.

"Bakugou, we don't have to. You look like you might die just from the suggestion."

"I fucking DO NOT!" Bakugou snapped. He reached out and grabbed Kiri's hand and tugged him away from the door. "There still gonna ask questions if we go down holding hands."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I guess we're doing this."

"Yup."

Kirishima's palms were sweaty, and coming from Bakugou that was saying something. He was probably a little nervous too, but that may have been the hand holding more than the impending conversation. He already knew Mina would be fine with it, and if Kaminari or Sero had anything bad to say about it, he really would just punch them in the face.

…

Bakugou and Kirishima walked into the common room, hand in hand, and for a moment Bakugou felt like an idiot. Because obviously it was a saturday, and obviously their entire class lived in the dorms, so obviously most of them are in the fucking common room. So, he may not have been prepared for the hush that fell over the room and the collective head turn of everyone to look at them. Of course they would look, it's only human nature to glance at the new thing that just moved into the room, and apparently it's hard to look away when said thing is your classmates holding hands. Right, teenage gossip. Here we go.

Bakugou could practically feel the nerves coming from Kirishima in waves. He was about to bark out that everyone can mind their fucking business already but before he could open his mouth someone else was speaking.

"About time, huh."

Kaminari. Bakugou was about to snap already turning his head to shoot him a glare when he felt Kirishima's hand shaking in his. He quickly glanced at him instead and saw the stress in the downward turn of his mouth, in the lines across his forehead and just wanted that to stop. He gave Kirishima's hand a tug, gave him a private smile and pulled him over to the couch to sit with his friends. Once they were on the couch Bakugou noticed everyone else had moved on, they'd probably had some sort of reaction to what Kaminari said and he was kind of pissed he missed it. He'd like to know what everyone thought for Kirishima's sake, but he'd been too pissed at Kaminari and then too worried about Kirishima to catch it. Whatever, as long as Kirishima's okay.

"So, holdin hands huh?" Kaminari jabbed an elbow into Kirishima's ribs and Bakugou watched him flinch away. He tightened his hold on Kirishima's hand just a bit.

"Yup." Kirishima said with a shaky smile.

"Alright, then listen up Blasty."

"Huh?" Bakugou replied intelligently.

"If you hurt Kirishima, if you so much as make him frown I will electrocute you so bad, that you forget uh, that you… well it'll suck."

"You shouldn't start a sentence if you don't know how to finish it you fucking idiot." Bakugou snapped. What the hell was this?

"Yeah Sparky," Mina pointed a finger in his face "If you break his heart I'll melt your face!"

"What the fuck? You literally tried to help me figure this out!" At least her threat went somewhere.

"Wait!" Kaminari gasped "Ashido you helped him? What the hell you already knew about this?"

"No, well yes, but no! I knew that Bakubro wanted to ask Kiri out I just-"

"Wait, Bakugou asked Kirishima?" Sero asked.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Bakugou yelled, because like, what the fuck!

Sero put his hands up, quick to placate "Nothing! Nothing!"

"What Sero is too afraid to say,"

"More like I value my life."

"As I was saying, what Sero is too afraid to say is that Kirishima seems like he'd be more intune with his emotions, while you seem like a feral gremlin who only just learned what the word friend means."

Bakugou's free hand was already crackling and Kaminari was jumping up ready to run when he heard the chuckle. He looked at Kirishima and saw a watery smile, and tears clinging to his lashes, but he looked happy. The popping from Bakugou's palm died out and he shared a small smile with Kirishima. This was a big deal to him. His friends responded better than he was hoping. It was written all over his face.

"Holy shit, look at that! Bakugou knows how to smile!"

"Shut up Kaminari, you're going to ruin it!"

"He's kind of pretty when he smiles."

Bakugou turned to them, and with the smile still on his face said kindly "I'll fucking kill all of you."

"Nevermind," Kaminari whispered to Sero "He's still terrifying."

…

"Hey, Bakugou?"

Bakugou hummed in response. They were laying on Kirishima's bed not doing much of anything, just on their phones and enjoying the time together.

"Would it be okay… Like, would you mind if…"

"Spit it out Shitty Hair."

"Could I call you Katsuki."

Bakugou dropped his phone, and it hit him smack in the face.

Kirishima sat up and leaned over Bakugou. "Are you okay?" He was trying to bite back a smile, and if it wasn't so cute Bakugou might have been pissed.

"I'm fuckin fine."

"Okay… so can I?" Kirishima looked nervous, which didn't help the fact that Bakugou's heart was pounding in his chest.

"Fucking whatever." Bakugou mumbled. "You can do what you want."

"Okay, Katsuki." Kirishima bit the inside of his cheek, Bakugou could see the indent. "If you want, you can call me Eijirou"

Bakugou's entire face was on fire and he turned away slightly "Whatever," He looked at Kirishima out of the corner of his eye. "Eijirou."

The smile he got in return was blinding and it made his chest feel tight.

"So," Bakugou started in an effort to change the subject, if he looked at that smile any longer he'd go blind "Do you feel better now that our friends know?"

"Yes! It went better than I expected, and we didn't even get bombarded with questions!"

"I think they would have asked more if I wasn't threatening them."

"Yeah, I was proud of you for not commiting any murder down stairs, showed some real self control."

Bakugou shoved Kirishima away with a laugh. "Oh shut up."

Kirishima moved right back next to him, leaning on his elbow to look down at Bakugou in a more comfortable position.

He flashed his sharp teeth in a smirk. "You don't really want me to shut up."

"Can I touch your teeth?" Came out of Bakugou's mouth before his brain had time to process it. The following blush that spread across his cheeks was also out of his control, but he was pretty sure it wasn't even as red as the one that was now on Kirishima's face.

"I'm sorry, what?" Kirishima asked, voice cracking.

"Uh…" Bakugou said intelligently.

"You want to touch my teeth?"

"They're sharp." Bakugou added, quick-witted like he is.

"Yeah…" Kirishima gave Bakugou a weird look he couldn't read "Okay?"

"Okay, like I can touch them?"

"Yeah, I guess?"

Bakugou nodded and leaned up on an elbow. He reached up with his other hand and waited for Kiri to open his mouth. When he did, he took one finger and pressed it down on one sharp tooth.

"Huh." He said, pulling his hand back to look at the finger.

"What?"

"They're not as sharp as they look." Eyes still trained on his finger, there wasn't even a mark.

"Yeah, I mean, they're much harder when I, ya know, harden."

"Oh, yeah that makes sense." Bakugou finally looked up at Kirishima and flushed at the weird look he was still receiving. "That was weird wasn't it?" he asked as he flopped back down onto his back.

"No, I mean yeah, but it's okay. It wasn't bad weird. I just didn't expect it I guess."

"I totally just put my finger in your mouth that's pretty weird." Bakugou said as it sunk in, his eyes widened in horror. What the fuck was he doing?

But Kirishima just laughed, the weird look replaced by a fond one. "It's really fine. I don't mind at all. Like I said just unexpected."

"You look nice like that." Bakugou wanted to borrow some tape from Sero and tape his mouth shut so he'd stop saying the weirdest fucking things imaginable.

"Thank you, but like what?" Kirishima looked way too composed for how awkward Bakugou felt. He was much better at this when it was just the two of them.

"Nevermind." Bakugou said turning his head in an attempt to hide his face in the pillow.

"Hey," Kirishima poked a finger into Bakugou's cheek "Like what?"

"Like that, with your hair down or whatever."

Kirishima moved a hand up to his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "You like it like this?"

"Less shitty." Bakugou grumbled.

"You can, uh feel it too if you want?" That pretty blush was back on Kirishima's cheeks.

Bakugou took advantage of the opportunity and ran his hands gently through Kirishima's hair, brushing it back from his face.

"Can't do this when you have spikes." Bakugou whispered. He was too nervous to look anywhere but at his hand in Kirihima's hair.

"I don't want to say anything that's going to make you uncomfortable…"

Bakugou looked into Kirishima's eyes. "Well you gotta say it now."

"I really want to kiss you right now." Kirishima wasn't looking at his eyes.

"Okay."

Kirishima looked up quick. "Okay?" Just to make sure.

"Okay."

Bakugou's heart was pounding in his chest as Kirishima leaned down and gently pressed his lips against Bakugou's. They were warm and dry and just a little bit chapped and Bakugou had never felt anything better.

Kirishima breathed deep out his nose, the warm air brushing against Bakugou's face. Bakugou was pretty sure you were supposed to do more than just sit there with your lips pressed against each other, but he'd never done this before, and god his heart was beating so fast, and was this okay?

Kirishima pulled back, his eyes were half lidded and this close Bakugou could practically feel his blush. "Tell me to stop if it's too much."

Bakugou wanted to ask if what was too much, but all he could focus on was his hand still in Kirishima's hair, and how the other one was holding his shirt in a tight fist, they were shaking just a little bit, and then Kirishima was leaning back in and brushing his lips gently against Bakugou's.

Kirishima's lips were parted and gently closed around Bakugou's top lip, he couldn't help the little sigh that escaped him as he tried to match Kirishima's rhythm. Just open mouthed kisses, gentle and slow and Bakugou thought he might melt into the bed. He'd never imagined something could feel like this. It had always looked so frantic, so rushed and messy in movies, and maybe he just didn't watch enough romance but this was nothing like he'd pictured. His stomach was a swarm of butterflies and the light touch of Kirishima's tongue to his bottom lip had him gasping. Which Kirishima took as an invitation to lick into his mouth. Bakugou didn't necessarily think it was an invitation but couldn't really focus on that once his tongue was sliding against kirishima's, and especially not once he heard the breathy little sound Kirishima made in response.

After what felt like hours, but could only have been a few minutes Bakugou pushed at Kirishima's chest to get a little space between them. They were both breathing heavily and Bakugou wanted to stare forever, Kirishima's hair was tousled, his lips pink and swollen, he never looked prettier. Had he ever thought about how pretty Kirishima was before? He definitely would never stop now.

"Is everything okay?" Kirishima whispered. It felt strange to break the silence.

"Yeah," Bakugou whispered back "Just need to catch my breath" and his bearings. None of that even felt real. "Today has been quite a fucking day"

Kirishima smiled sweetly, one of his sharp teeth poking out over his bottom lip. "It really has."

 **AN**

So, this is finally over, we finally made it to the end! I seriously want to thank everyone whos taken the time to read this and especially to everyone who has left a kudos and comments! This is the first thing I've really tried to write in a few years, and I've never posted on this site before so I'm not sure what's good or not but I'm so excited over the attention this did get! I mean all I really wanted was to get over 100 kudos and we're at 139 right now and I'm just so overwhelmed! I had originally started writing this just for myself cus I thought it was a neat enough idea and I wanted to practice writing a little and I just impulsively made an account and posted the first chapter and when people actually seemed like they wanted me to continue, even just after the first person showed interest, I was like well damn okay I guess other people might want to enjoy this too. Which is pretty fucking dope. I could probably ramble forever about my gratitude so I just want to say thank you again all of you!

Also a huge thanks for no one calling me out on my laziness on never giving Bakugo's therapist a name… like I swear everytime I posted a therapy chapter I was like here comes the comment I'm sure. And then it never came! And I was like wow you're all the best!


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